Nineteen-year-old, Bea Somerton, knows exactly how she wants to live. Become a doctor, remain in remission from her childhood Leukaemia and have a happy, normal, life.
The last thing she expects is to meet rising star and troubled musician, Holden P...
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I wake the next morning, my skin cold with realisation. I'd forgotten, for a moment, how tangibly stupid I have been.
I reach for the bucket list lying flat on my nightstand with a groan. Numbly, I stare down at number four, tears beginning to brim in the corners of my eyes.
4. Donate blood
Donate blood? Did it just slip my mind that I have Acute Myeloid Leukaemia coursing through my bloodstream?
I laugh out loud and slowly a sob begins to wrack my chest. A sliver of light from my drawn blinds casts shadows across the paper, dancing across the words.
For a moment, the darkness tricks my adjusting sight and I regard the wet patches of paper as my tears. Cautiously, I brush my dampened face and pull my hands away with sudden horror.
Blood.
I throw the covers of my duvet off and step further into my room, locating my mirror. I lean my clean hand against the wall, holding up my weight as I stare at my reflection.
My nose oozes bright, fluorescent red that shines in the dimmed light. I reach for the tissues on my desk, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears.
I reach for another three tissues, the blood flow stronger than my own fucking body's ability to keep me healthy.
I stumble back towards my bed, finding the crumbled list unearthed between my duvet.
"Fuck!" I scream, balling up the list and throwing it across the room.
This list is about doings things because of my diagnosis, yet somehow I'd completely forgotten that I'm really sick.
I suddenly think of Holden, about how he was finally beginning to open up to me yesterday in the field. How his words were so close to being spoken.
And that's why I stop crying. That's why I realise that all of this is so much bigger than my sickness. It's about his too. Whatever that may be.
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"I've made a few changes," I begin hours later, cleaning the floors of Holden's room.
I unfold the new list I've written up, passing it wordlessly to Holden who stands behind me.
