depression (a luke hemmings fan fiction) SLOW UPDATES

White

I wake up in white.

I seem to always wake up in white, and go to sleep in black.

I know that this is not Heaven, just a hospital room.

"He's awake! Hey, Jess, he's awake," I hear Ashton say.

I try to sit up, but his large hand pushes me down.

"Jess is here?" I ask Ashton, giving up on trying to sit up.

"Yeah, she's coming in a second," he tells me.

"No, please. Don't let her see me like this. Please, Ash," I beg him.

"What- you don't want to see her?" he questions from the side of my bed.

"I don't want her to see me," I sigh.

"I'll try to stall her...I guess," he says, and walks to the door.

"He's awake?" Jessica asks, happily.

"Uh, no, false alarm. He just moved in his sleep," Ashton lies through his teeth.

"Oh, well...can I see him?" She asks Ashton.

He's probably blocking the entry to the room.

I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

Ashton looks back at me, and sees me fake sleeping.

"Yeah, you can see him, just for a second though," he sighs.

"Thank you," she says, I know she smiles at him.

I hear her light footsteps coming over to my bed.

Then they stop.

I feel the bed adjust slightly, and I feel her body warmth next to me.

She doesn't say anything at first, she just sits.

She touches my shoulder lightly, I think that she fixed my slightly disheveled hospital gown.

"Hey," she finally whispers, "I don't wanna wake you up..." she sighs.

"I really want to touch your face, but that would probably hurt you, so I won't," her words drift off.

"I but I want you to know that I really love you, so don't give up," she cries, and gets up.

I hear her running out of the room.

What was that?

"What did you say to her Luke?" Ashton harshly questions.

"Nothing, I pretended to be asleep, she just cried," I tremble.

I start to cry. 

"Luke, what's- what happened, oh, come here," he pulls me into his chest.

He rubs my back with his large hands.

"Can we go home?" I ask him, still in our embrace.

"So it's home now?" I can feel him smile into my shoulder.

I nod.

After what seems like an eternity of paperwork, doctor's questions, and a faint smell of chemicals, I am okayed to go home.

As soon as we get home, Ashton makes me lay on my bed, while he takes care of me.

He's majoring in doctoring in college, and minoring in child psychology.

He's treating me like a child.

I find it annoying how much he cares, yet whenever he leaves the room, I get really scared that Harry is going to come back, so I make him stay.

It's almost dark now, and I won't sleep by myself, not so soon.

I make Ashton sleep in my bed with me.

It's a king size bed, so we can keep our distance.

His breathing gets slower and slower. 

His heartbeat gets louder and slower.

"Ash, are you awake?" I ask, very, very quietly.

He rolls over in his sleep, but does not wake up.

I squint through the darkness, and lightly laugh.

He forgot to take off his glasses.

I would normally just leave them on, but he might roll over in his sleep again, and break them.

I gently remove the glasses, and put them on my bedside table.

I go to sleep to the sound of Ashton's breathing