Shadow Love (World Collisions) [#1]

Enchanted Wounds of The Heart

The snow was just flaking and the wind was just whipping at the trees as the scenery that was once full of joy became bleak and plain with the tundra of snow that covered it. No one knew where this sudden storm came from, but they knew that something like this had happened before as it was a folktale that had started it all...

Friday was a day that was supposed to be a day of great relief or great mundaneness. Never, NEVR, is it supposed to be a day that is to be hated on. But, that's what I find my current feeling to be as this Friday had brought me great grief. It was the beginning of a school day! Imagine that! I bet you can't because there's no logic in starting on a Friday. My school, obviously, thought differently about this. I scoffed at such a miniscule thought of the 'what if my school was normal?' and continued on combombing my hair as it fell to the very bottom of my back.

"Dee!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I shout back as I put down the brush and I tie back my hair with a ponytail and a black, as midnight, ribbon. Once satisfied with my look I puff out my chest and drag the breath back into my lungs as I walk down the stairs. When I reach the bottom of it my mother holds out my school bag and I smile sheepishly at her as I scratch the back of my neck. "Sorry, about that ma'am." I duck my head in shame and with a tsk and a tap of her foot she walks out of the house. I bit my lip as I continued to look down to the ground and wondered if it was too late to hide in my bedroom.

It was. That was my conclusion that I had come up with as my older brother walked out of the front door while jiggling his keys at me. I roll my eyes at him and I follow along begrudgingly. No normal person liked school, well except her. My heart spikes with nerves as I could imagine her smile and her loud, boisterous, voice rings throughout the halls. It was like a trance I couldn't help but be under. She made me feel things that I thought I could longer feel. She made me want to live once again.

Those days were over though. A ball of salvia collects at the midlength of my throat as it builds until I gulp it down and even then I feel queasy as I could remember that day she was announced dead. Dead because of me. Dead becuase I was stupid and ignorant. Dead because I didn't know what I had before it was too late.

I hate- no, I despised myself with such greatness that it pained my heart to even be alive and breathe in the toxic fumes that is 'air,' that is 'oxygen.'

I fight back tears as it feels acidic and feels as though I had doused my eyes in clorox as tingles could be felt throughout my body. I was breaking down and there was no one there for me. I had myself only to blame.

"We're here." His voice was clear, loud and clear, but his words were not words to me as they felt as though blood was rushing in my ears and my body was shaking. I didn't have control and it started to scare me. I didn't want this and nor did I need this. I just wanted her and her laugh and voice. I wanted her to hold my hand at this point and tell me that everything was ok even if it wasn't. I just wanted reassurance, but I found nothing. Instead, I hear the car door open and close and then nothing. I was a mess with a broken heart.

I drag in a shaky breath and I stop midway as I break down and I cover my face with my hands. I just sob my heart out as I screamed in agony. There was nothing in this world for me, there was nothing to even bring back my humanity. There was nothing.

After minutes of what seemed to be a passing storm I found my heart beating rapidly, but at a more calm rapid pace and my hiccups have come far in between one another and the tears were nothing but a drought at this point. It was relaxing, but I still found myself at edge as I couldn't help but think that I had to still go to school, that I was sure everyone could hear me and watch me just have my breakdown.

With what little dignity I had left I pushed open the door to the passenger side of the car and I slammed it behind me as I shoved my hands in my pockets. It didn't even matter that I didn't bring my bag. I didn't even remember if I had brought it with me, or that I had even taken it from my mom. I didn't remember anything that had concerned the vain of my existence and it had calmed my nerves to some degree to think that I could just rest in the nurse's office all day long. Who cares at this point? I certainly didn't.