My Heart Speaks

From my eyes. from her eyes.

*Deep thoughts on my side*

Typical me ranting some deep deep rants

Thr/Jan/7
2:20am

There are somethings you can never change,
Be it your past,
Be it your truth,
Be it your destiny,

We can change them , I guess we can. But every once in a while we see that it is impossible . Some of us persevere though, only those one of us know  if they actually made a difference.

A sign of pain, will always be a sign of pain, but we can make new memories.

If she will love you, she will. You can never force her and you can never change it.

Some of us live everyday, just to prove something or to gain something.

Everyday , I hope that she would just love me.
I wish she would treat me the way she treats Aerie,
If she can sell everything she has to fly to the next country to see Aerie, why can't she do more when I was kidnapped and found, why can't she do more as I fight for my life on this sick bed.

It is said that we humans crave the most for what we can't have, and maybe that's the biggest problem on our parts.

Wishing that someday , we could melt a stone heart,
Hoping that one-day we could get the love we so wished for,
Maybe one day we could
Maybe one day we couldn't.

I grew up with Jacob, I knew him in and out, I knew when he first rode a bicycle, I was always there, we were always together, I always loved him, when he smiled my whole world would light up, when he laughed I felt immense happiness, when he cried I felt my heart breaking into tiny pieces. When he would hold my hands I felt safe and warm. I always loved him and somehow I think he did too.
He travelled abroad to study, and I happily sent him off, because it has always been his dream, he comes home with a girl and they want to get married. When I see them smiling together, or just casually holding hands I feel a burn in my heart.

You are probably thinking I am jealous,
But I am not, I just always thought that would be us.

You probably think I am a fool, for not Expressing my feelings soon.
But , I just always thought he felt the same, I thought I should wait.....

I have been thinking (thougting) alot, and maybe that's my fault......

All the years of love and care I have showered him, couldn't measure up to the few years he spent with her........

It simply proves that what Jacob wants , Jacob wants, different brand or better brand, what Jacob wants is what Jacob wants.

Que sera sera (what will be will be)

You are probably, thinking that I should move on, cause he never felt that way.
But have you thought about the fact that I spent my whole life , loving him, and taking care of him, hoping that he would love me, you want me to throw that away in a blink of an eye, it's not that easy.

I will probably never get his love, but see from my eyes. I should move on, all the the time I spent being a waste or rather an investment, you probably have a thorn of ideas of what I should do.......
We all do, but try to see from my eyes, cause you never will be able to.
Same but different

Someone else is out there for me, you will find  another... Why can't wishes come true,
Why can't love be returned,

Love isn't always returned, at least not up to our expectations.

That's the risk it takes to love, cause sometimes love doesn't weigh the same on both sides.

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In the end, you make your choice , you deal with it.