Stuck.

no. 2

1989,
March 1st
10:07 pm

guess what guys
school sucks
I MEAN STAY IN SCHOOL! please
but it sucks

turns out, the essay was due last month? the professor never even told us, she just
t h o u g h t we'd know and that's exactly what she said. So the entire class is filled with low
low
low
low grades
except for grace. She turned her essay in the day of. I feel bad for her, She's probably getting less than 3 hours of sleep (which sucks because i get like 25 minutes of sleep and I've had a D the entire semester,) she seems like a nice girl but I can't bring myself to talk to anyone. I barely know who half the class is which is basically a slap of karma since whenever I go anywhere someone from class comes up to me and I have to pretend I know who they are and what they're talking about.

I'm surprised I haven't declared I'm planning on dropping out this year. It's happened every year since middle school and I feel bad because whenever I say so, my mom gets this burst of fear and worry and she both comforts me but she also yells at me to get myself together or she'll kick me out. Which is understandable I mean why would you want someone living in your home who hasn't even graduated high school let alone be successful in life. This year things are turning up for me and I haven't told anyone because then right when I say that, boom something happens which ruins my streak and I have to build back up to it.

I may as well list why I hate school (guys shut up and stay in school)

1. P.E

I need to explain
don't I?
because everyone loves physical education. At least in my school. Which makes absolutely no sense.
Why like a subject where you tire and burn yourself out (although, that is every subject for me..) I mean tennis is kinda cool but I have terrible eye-hand coordination, so yeah I suck at everything not the point.
Running is the worst. My legs weren't built for that. I just want to sit and read and write and eat. That's it.
The jocks are really annoying. Once, some dude slapped my back and told me to beef up. That night I ate beef and the next day I thought he'd be proud. And then the cheerleaders, one of them thought it would be funny to take all my nice notes that I spent all night working on
I never got them back
maybe I'm just getting bullied

2. LUNCH

You don't understand.
The school lunch at high school was literally top tier and only the kids who did track would be the first ones there. I'm always at the end of the line and at like the middle of freshman year I just decided to pack my own lunch. Maybe pack one of Brielle's snacks for her lunch but mainly it was just leftovers from dinner the night before.
I'm glad that my mom is an amazing cook but soon enough, kids began asking for my food so back to eating lunch in the bathroom.
I know it was unsanitary but I tried to stay as clean as I could.
kinda sucks that I'm a dude though.
Why did the men bathrooms stink so much? it's hard to even sit by the entrance without gagging in disgust. I think it's just the guys from that school because other bathrooms outside of that school never smell. So before I would eat, I'd spray the room with this tiny air freshener my mom got but I stole it from her and it was really useful.