Then Came You

The Overcoming

He entered the passcode of his apartment door, nudged the door open, stepped in. The frigid sensation of the large wide and dark place he called home welcomed him. He threw himself to the couch, didn't bother to turn on the lights. The weird and precarious feeling he started to feel a couple weeks back began to suffocate him. It was like his lungs clenched by some robust clasp, made him felt like he was wearing a restrained jacket, struggled just to breathe. He tried so hard to suppress it. Acted usual in front of people, put on his 'i'm okay' mask. Especially in front of the love of his life.

The more he saw the script, the more nauseous he got. His head felt heavy, his shoulders started to weary. He just swept them aside, thought that all those feelings just a manifestation of how he tried to convey his character. He went to gym, trained hard, went to his favorite bowling alley, throwing strikes after strikes, went to the boxing hall, landing jabs after jabs, hooks after hooks mangling the poor sand sack, but that awful titillation won't go away. It was there. Rooted in the dark corner of his mind, tried to pry open his skull, silently crept all over his body.

He couldn't backtrack his way, he wanted to do this, he had to do this, he needed to do this. This was, is, and always will be his passion. Acting was something he wanted to do until the day he'd say farewell to this world. But he couldn't move forward either. His head was hefty, his brain was foggy, his stomach churned, made him wanted to regurgitate a big lump in his throat.

He only felt safe when she's around, her laughs, her touch, her warmth, her scent... Those were the weapons he got. Her existence. In the nights they couldn't be together, he slept gripping one of her cardigan that she left a few weeks back, her scent still lingered there, made him a little comfortable, just like she was around embracing him.

He was feeling great at first. The facts that he would working with the person who filled his heart with love and joy excites him, that he would make a great come back to the entertainment industry motivates him, that the first project he accepted was full talented people, an amazing storyline, a character he never portrayed before, all of them would brought the best of him. That he was 100% sure this project would be a major hit.

But then, those feelings began to diminished. That out of nowhere he started to feel strange. The ghastly feelings slowly initiated their movements, exposing their presence, that they were there, ready to haunt him down.

He abruptly open his eyes, gasping. Shook his head and strode over the bathroom, take a quick hot shower, wear the first clothes he could lay his hand on, proceed to the door. He needed her. He needed the real her, or he might went crazy.

He took several deep breaths before entering her passcode. He wasn't usually like this, standing in front of her door for he always have to be careful not to get caught. But this time, he needed to put on his charades, that he was okay, that he was fine. After composing his heartbeat, he entered her passcode, pushed the door open, kicked off his shoes and slid himself in.

"Jagiya!!!" He successfully put his signature grin on his face, opened his arm wide.

"Oppa, whaeire?" She was a bit startled, then put her cup of tea on the table. The script in her milky hand started to churned his organs. He took his jacket off, hanged it on the coat hanger in the end of her door hallway.

"Ani..." He smirked, shrugged his shoulders, stepped towards her, lean over and tugged her in his arms. He desperately in need to feel her. Her warmth immediately fought away the convulsion in his chest.

"Saranghae, YeaJi-ah... You know that, don't you?" He murmured in her ear, then kissed her temple. He felt so much better already.

"Na do saranghae, Oppa... But why all the sudden? You need to get rest, we'd filming again first thing in the morning." Her alluring face looked baffled, which made sense, they really were going to film in the morning, something he wasn't sure he had the courage to.