The Down Low

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This story is purely based on my imagination...











There he was. Laying on the couch. Eyes fixated to the ceiling. There he was. A Hallyu Star. Kim Soo Hyun. His mind swirling around. He feels dizzy, nauseated even. He just want to sunk into his comfortable couch, hiding here doesn't have to face the world anymore.

He thought his decision was right. It was so perfect at the time. Perfect timing, unique storyline, great casts, marvelous production team, even his cousin as the director, to produce one movie, just one last phenomenal work to make him remembered after he enlisted to the army. Yeah, they remembered him alright, they remembered his movie, as one of the worst Korean movie ever existed.

He remembered how excited he was after the movie shoots wrapped up, how he can't wait patiently for the movie to enter the cinemas. The jitters, the restless sleeps, the anxiety but on top of them all the happiness, the joy to show his fans something different, something out of the box, something substantial from him to remember by while he spent months away serving the army.

He groans. Arms punching the air. Then suddenly he straightened up. Sitting there, eyes sweeping the room. His spacious living room become more empty now, the cold air seeping through his skin. He never felt this alone before. Walking to the glass wall he watched Han River stretched majestically, silence and calm. He wished that it can draws of all of his sorrows, his loneliness, despair and regrets into the unknown.

Far away, he saw the city, with all the lights and the lives, so crowded and full of people, yet he's here, alone, cold and pathetic. Sighed, and he walked back to the couch, sinking his face in his hands tried to swallow the tears. Then he remembered how thrilled he was talking about Jang Tae Young his character in the movie at his last award acceptance speech just to accept the fact that now he's crying again like he cried at the movie VIP Premiere. Well, not everything can run smoothly, and end up like it used to, like he always had.

He reached for his phone, shut it down hours ago after the floods of headlines and reviews about him and his last movie. With all the courage he had left, he turned it on. All of notifications chimed instantaneously. 35 missed calls from his manager, 20 from his agency, 10 from his mom, numerous texts and emails. He ignored all of that, going to sns, sweeping through thousands of comments, hoping to find something. Something that can make him feel better, something that can make him anew and forget about all of this disappointment. He found one, and then 3 and 9 and more but none of them loosen his tight chest, none of them heave the burden of his back.

He saw the time. It's 02.00 am. No wonder he starved. He realize the last time he had something went to his stomach was yesterday, the night after he went home from his movie VIP Premier, the night he found out that majority of South Korean movie critiques didn't agree with him. The night he found out that his last movie might be a flop.

Throwing his phone to the far side of the couch, he went to the kitchen, thinking about making some ramyun, wishing some hot noodles can eased away the pain a little bit. And it did. The hot noodle burned his tongue, made his eyes watery, so he can find some excuse to cry, sobbing over his instant ramyun. That's how low he is right now. The down low.

His phone beeped in a sudden, wiping his tears he stepped over his living room to reach it, wondering who's messaging him at this hour. He stunned after he read who the sender was. It was a name that he's been longing in the middle of the night while he lay on his bed, the name that drifted in his mind more often the he expect, the name that he always scrolled upon on his contact list wanting to reach but he had no courage to do so. The name that always there even when he didn't realize. Seo Yea Ji. While his heart beating so fast like it wanted to escape his chest cavity, he clicked the message.

"Kim SooHyun sunbae-nim, gwenchana-yo?"

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