Confessions

Chapter 30

When I woke up the next morning, there were boxes sitting in front of my door. I wanted to cry all over again, but I didn't. I just sat up grabbing my phone.

Jess: Any news?

Aubrey: I just know school starts on the 10th. So, it'll be before then hopefully after New Years'.

Jess: Wanna hang today?

Aubrey: Can't. Maybe Friday, so we can hang before I leave.

Jess: Okay, love you girl.

Audrey: Love you more. <3

I pushed the blankets off my body, sliding off my bed. I grabbed the boxes, tossing them in my room. I walked slowly down the stairs, my mother was sitting at the table, shuffling through papers. She glanced up at me, her eyes shifting back to her papers.

"Your flight leaves January sixth at noon." She said, not looking up from her work. "Pack what clothes you want me to ship to you and I'll express them to you, so they come in before class starts. It doesn't matter though, St. Marie's has a dress code." She said, looking up from her papers.

"Yeah." I said shortly, walking past her and grabbing a bowl from the cabinet. I grabbed the box of cereal on the counter, pouring it in the bowl. I opened the refrigerator, pulling the milk from the shelf and pouring it in my bowl. I put the milk back, grabbing a spoon from the drawer. I put the spoon in the bowl, walking past her again, silently.

"I promise, this is for the better. You'll have better opportunities in New York and hopefully get into any school you want with the private school's help. I set it up so you can take all of your finals Wednesday before you leave. Your principal was sad to hear about the transfer, said you were an outstanding student. They will send your grades before school starts at St. Marie's. I promise, Aubrey. This is going to be for the better." She said softly, staring at me as I started up the stairs. Then why were you sending me away?

"Yeah, sure." I said, walking up the stairs, trying not to cry. I was as calm as I was going to get for her. I hated her and I didn't think our relationship would survive this.

    An hour later, I was putting items in the boxes, folding up the clothes and placing them on my bed. I had cried already, at least four times since I started packing. I hadn't looked at my phone in hours and the music was turned up loudly. So loudly, that my mother had yelled up the stairs hours ago, telling me to turn it down. That only resulted in me turning it up louder. I grabbed a few books from my shelf, making sure I brought my worn copy of 'To Kill a Mockingbird' with me. I finally grabbed my phone, checking my messages.

Alex: Wanna grab dinner?

Aubrey: Definitely.

Alex: What time?

It was a little after one and I still had quite a bit of packing to do.

Aubrey: 7?

Alex: I'll be there. <3

Aubrey: <3 <3

I tossed my phone back on the bed, changing the song on my iPod. I grabbed a few dresses off the hangers, folding them neatly and putting them in a pile next to some of the clothes I'd decided on. I put a stuffed animal that Alex gave me in a box, with an old picture of us. I need a new one. This was the hardest thing I had to do, in my whole life. I was having to leave my friends and boyfriend behind, when I wasn't ready to. My heart felt broken, shattered even and I didn't know how to cope with it.

    When I taped up the last box, I felt my body fall and I started crying all over again. I knew my mother heard me cry myself to sleep last night. Yet, she hadn't said but three sentences to me since our fight. I stood, holding myself against the tower of boxes. I wiped the tears away, trying to gather myself. I took a deep breath, fixing my tight black tee. I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. Alex will be here in an hour, get it together for him. I grabbed what clothes were left and tossed a few outfit options on the bed. I decided on a cropped white tee, with dark blue skinny jeans. I grabbed my towel from the hook behind my door, going and taking a quick shower. When I got out, I just stared at myself in the fogged mirror. My eyes were rimmed red, puffy and darkened. I knew I had to put make-up on, to cover the defeated sadness. I dressed, pulling a pair of old black calf boots on. I walked to the bathroom with my make-up bag, putting a concealer around the dark circles under and around my eyes. I finished, looking myself in the mirror again. At least I didn't look like a zombie. I walked back to my room, putting the make-up bag on my desk. I grabbed my phone, seeing Alex's name across the screen. I tucked it in my back pocket, grabbing my keys from my desk as I walked out of my room. I jogged down the stairs and my mother was still in the same seat.

"Where are you going?" She said softly, looking up from her papers.

"Alex is taking me to dinner." I say, grabbing my jacket from the coat rack.

"Fine. The next few days, you need to stay home and study. You have the weekend and New Years on Monday to hang with your friends before you leave. You need to be home by midnight, no excuses. If I smell one drop of.." I cut her off.

"I got it okay!" I yell, bunching my hands into fists.

"Ok." She said calmly, looking back down at her work. I turned the doorknob, wanting to scream at her, but I didn't. I opened the door, stepping outside in the brisk winter air, closing the door behind me. Alex sat in his pickup, turning the knob on his radio. He saw me and got out of the truck, smiling as he walked around. I walked down the driveway, trying to return the smile. He walked up to me, wrapping his arms around my body.

"I missed you." He mumbled into my hair, kissing the top of my head lightly.

"I missed you too." I say into his chest. He pulled back, his left arm still wrapped around my waist. He opened my door, I stepped up, as he grabbed my ass. I laughed, swatting his hand away. At least he was trying to make me feel better. He closed my door, walking around to his side, as I buckled my seatbelt.

"What did you want for dinner?" He asked, pulling onto the street.

"Whatever really, but I'm not super hungry." I said, pulling my phone from my back pocket. I tucked into my front jacket pocket, as Alex turned onto the main road.

"Let's go up to Carbondale and grab something there. There's more restaurants and I'm sure we will figure it out by then. I mean it's a college town, surely there will be something we like." He smiled, turning onto the interstate. I shrugged, probably. He turned up the classic rock, belting out the lyrics and making air guitar gestures with his fingers. I laughed, rolling my eyes at him.

"What?" He said, turning the music down.

"Nothing, I was just admiring the dance moves." I said, mocking his air guitar gestures. He smirked at me, grabbing my hand and kissing it.

"I'm sorry, I can just tell you're sad. It's all over your beautiful face, even in that make-up. I just wanted to make it better, take you away from reality. I know they have a decent mexican spot up there." He said, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I grinned, shaking my head at his antics.

"Yes, mexican. It sounds just like the kind of comfort food I need." I said, rubbing his fingers against mine. He smiled, switching stations and turning up the volume. I bobbed my head to the rap song, letting go of his hand. He switched lanes, carefully heading towards our destination.