In between depression and hope

HIDDEN ADDICTIONS

After a long day about by 7;00 I got back home, tired and hungry I step into my house and found nobody around.

Ok ...... I looked around to see if are they are still in the house and yea they all are gone 

I went to the kitchen  and then check my phone 

yea that's the weekend everybody has a plan except for me.

I wasn't hungry so I looked around making sure nobody was not at home. when I was sure I got up to my room and open my drawer 

It is still there 

Good thing mom and dad didn't  throw it 

My paintbrushes and paints 

I took out my canvas and looked up at the sky

The weather is great overall  cold wind never bother me anyway 

Me and my granna do this   all the time  

She was also too much into painting and supports me  as well though my dad didn't found anything special in it, he loves his mother a lot as she brought him up as a single mother and guide him all the way to his success  so never said anything to it but I know by one glance that he is not happy about it, after her death, I never take it up as I knew it would hurt him , He doesn't love me tats, ok but  that is not ok to bring pain to him  because he is the only person in my life who had taken care of me, fed me all those years

I am done painting today I paint a valley covered by dark covers of the night but still looks so peace full and harmless 

A place that I desired to lived in the future 

I quickly cleaned my paintbrushes and put all colors in the box  

I left the canvas there as it still needs a few minutes to dry 

I put my treasure in the same place away from my parent sight 

Just as I was about to take my canvas in I heard a car parking noise 

I hurried to take it in but dad saw it  and he looked at me though he never raises his hand  on me but  his stare alone put me in undefined fear 

 I can see that he is mad at me now

"Hey wow  did you paint, "  a voice from behind told me I looked up and found one of my father friend standing fascinated by it he some close to it and touch the dry art carefully

"Man you are the really lucky man that talented kid ......I wish I had " He said and glanced at me and through a kind smile at me 

This was the first time other than my granna someone had actually appreciate my art.

Dad through me a stare telling me that he gonna talk to me about it later 

I took a deep breath after he was gone didn't know I was actually holding it for so long 

I look at my canvas I am the worst daughter in the world, I put my dad in pain and old memory and before I knew it depression got the best of me, and before I know it I grab my hairs

BREATH.....Breath

I told my self and put hatred looked at my canvas 

I wore my coat and took my canvas in hand and walk out of my house and then I bumped into something a tree I think I should get my eye check but there no one else to blame.

I looked down at the freshly prepared canvas 

I looked around did I really went this far from my home cause right now I am on a shopping street.

"Nerd Hey here" I heard the familiar voice from my behind I looked at my back and saw him again 

The last person I don't want to speak and out of all I met him great 

"What do you want"I asked patiently 

"Don't be a meanie , I want to say hi to you " He replied 

" You need something," I asked hoping  he will go soon

"Oh wow is not this lovely that you know me quite well" he spoke up but this time with the same old venom he used during class .......

Some people can't hide their nature for long so I guess that's who he is the snake 

" Anyways where did you bought such a beautiful art piece," He asked in a normal tone like you were here with each other on good terms

"If you want you can have it don't look at it like you gonna steal it out of my hand," I said to him and stretch my hand with which I hold the canvas.

"How much,"  He asked reaching for his pocket

"No need you can have it for free I was about to throw it anyways " I spoke the last part low  but I guess he heard me that why he was looking at me like I have grown four heads

"Really thanks, I will try to repay it anyways you know I don't like favors"He spoke again and take it finally 

I turned and started to walk but I was stopped by his voice again "Hey let me gave you a ride home " I looked at him 

" No thanks, I am good I prefer walking" I spoke and turned again start walking, nature ad its ways to calm me down. Cold winds just gave a relaxing  and before I knew it I was back at home 

I looked at the watch 9:00 pm already and I looked around and still nobody at home 

I do my homework and review all work.

By 11:00 pm I was free from my work 

I lay on the bed after changing into a comfy suit and closed my eyes and fell asleep