Dear Sirron,
I am writing this letter because I really have to. And I'm extremely sorry that I am having to write this letter. I'm extremely sorry because it might be bothersome, annoying, and off-putting to you. But maybe I'll never send this to you, and you'll never know. I really don't want to send this to you, but then again I really want it to be known. It is not like I want to tell you, it's just that I've this faith, that things are always meant to be confessed, just once, for the first and only time. So, here's me confessing- I think I really like you. And it kinda sucks. It actually sucks really bad. Because I'm scared, and you're so out of reach. Because I don't feel like I deserve to like you. It might sound too overly sentimental and melodramatic in a very cringy way. But it's not, hear me out. See, it's kinda intrusive for me to like you this much. You obviously don't have an idea, but if you had known, what if it had made you feel disgusted in your skin? Because sometimes we really hate some people liking us and really hate the attention that we do not want from them. So, it is kind of intrusive I think. You wouldn't want weirdos to like you, now would you? It's like if you really dislike a certain person, and that certain person likes you a lot, that makes me question the energy, the vibe, and the aura you emanate. You start thinking what they saw in you to like you when you don't like this person, meaning anything they'll like you won't like further meaning you can't like yourself, more like maybe in fact you're not your own person, you're not your type. And that sucks really bad. I'm ranting. And it may look like it seems inane, but really it's not. It makes complete sense, in an overthinker's mind at least. So, I'll try my best to not be intrusive. But in the same time, I really cannot help it. I tried not to, like you, I mean. I really did. But then no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't unsee how perfect you were. But then again I know nothing about you. But it's more than your face, or your look, or your clothes, that I can say. Maybe it's just your aura. I don't know. Is it possible to like someone who you never have met in person? Someone's voice you've never heard? Can you even like them for real? In logical sense you can't. Maybe this is just a huge ass crush, something unimportant, something not magnanimously meaningful. But you're beautiful. The little details, the way your mind works, it your sense of humour, and the certain way you look in photographs. I'm sorry. This is bad. And I can't help it. Goddamn. I kinda hate myself. Because this might entirely be superficial. I know nothing about you. That's why. Am I just building up a fantasy? Maybe I just need to like someone, and maybe I'm using your existence for me to feel that emotion of liking someone. But, it feels and sounds so wrong. Because it isn't that way. The thing is, if it isn't that way, I don't know which other way it is. I don't want to talk to you or anything. I just maybe someday want to stand at a corner and see your presence and witness your existence from afar, in flesh and blood and bones. I just want to stand afar and adore. I don't want to intrude at all. I'm too pathetic and too plain and too much of a loser to leave even the faintest of my footprints on your life's map. And I'm not being self deprecative or self critical. I'm just being logical. I can't seem to get you out of my head and I don't feel good about that, and I'm sorry about that.
