The unseen reality

5. Why?

His dead and cold eyes fixed on me, my stare stumbling on the ground. I tried to gather the courage to look up at him but it was so hard the face of his big brother screaming and his hands holding my wrist tightly everything flashing so fast that i couldn't resist the thoughts, the fear.. my knees giving up all the strength to hold the pressure of my body. The body which was supported on these knees for 18 years were now about to give up and just melt on the ground like a melting iron in the heat.

How hard can a person have impact on you? I guess it's rationally proportional to the fact for how long have you known the person or for how long have you been running away from him! I don't know for how long but what I do know is this person standing right infront of me needs to hear my side, unlike last time, he needs to hear what I had to say, he should have heard me as he was my best friend. But was he still my best friend or maybe just even friends?  His last words to me rang like a bell. Every word spoken were like poisonous darts and arrows shooting my way and straight through my heart.

A boy standing behind said, "aren't you the girl who has got date with Anil?"
His words broke my chain of thoughts the thinking the saying and everything in my part has ended these words gave me a motive to look up. When I looked up my eyes met the cold and dead eyes towards me and seeing him all my heart said was, "I wish Raghav believed me!" But my mind wanted to slap him, slap him so hard that even my palm turns red because of the pain!

Gathering all the feelings I had I said, "no he is just my...." Before I could say ahead Raghav almost yelled at his friends saying, "meet me in the canteen I have to talk to the professor about something."

The students behind him I concluded were his friends, they went out of the class and in a blink of eye the whole class was empty. I turned towards Raghav his gaze fixed on me and I moved my lips not knowing what to say, "I...."

"You should have told me!"

My eyes looked at him with guilt. But how could I have told what was to happen when I didn't know it myself. There is a time in our life when we know we are not wrong and we hold the high ground but if no one will believe our truth.

I urge to take my heart out and keep it infront of him made me more and more desperate with every passing moment. The sweat dropping through my forehead made me look scared. I clenched my fist harder on my bag i feets moved backward one step the air around started suffocating me. With every passing moment the air got thinner and thinner to the point that I couldn't breath I couldn't breath a single atom of oxygen.

The response to this stimulus was not as I expected. I expected to shout to cry to yell to slap him and fall on floor crying why didn't you trust me I was your best friend why? But instead I turned around and ran away I kept running the whole college passing through my eyes so fast the tears in my eyes filling up every corner of my eye so hard. When a familiar voice called my name, and I stopped to that voice. The tears made everything so blurr I could barely see but I was sure it was Anil. He came closer to me with every moment, I was frozen to the place. He came so close I could feel his warm breath on my face his deep voice against my ears and he said the thing I least expected.

"You skirt is up why are you running around showing your underwear?"

The words hit me so hard the fear, the guilt, the past in my mind vanished in a second and it swapped with embarrassment, shyness and the fact that everyone in the college saw my underpants. So i checked my Jeans for the skirt that was stuck up. The next possible reaction wasn't that I was crying I was laughing. And the only words left my mouths then were, "You Jerk, I was embarrassed!"

"Atleast I know you wear skirts and don't get mad on jokes!"
"Yes I don't!"
"Why can't you face Raghav?"
"How do you know Raghav?"
"Well...."
"What?"
"You don't remember me?"
"No! Do I know you?"
"Well yes you do!"
"Who are you?"
"Your friend!" Saying this he just walked away to his department I went back to mine to attend rest of my classes of the day. But with all three lectures my two lectures were common with Raghav. And how much I hated it only my guts know, those two lectures were filled with hate, insecurity, tears and disappointment.

The moment the class came to end my only relief was I will get to see Anil and talk to him. But this age is a pathetic time just out of puberty, hormones hitting hard, the fact to save your face, don't look desperate and look like that you are cool with anything actually is very hard. It's like living on the rack. With so many insecurities, feelings and thoughts and the only thing that made it worse was the fact that we think if we keep our toe a little out of the line, the world we built with so much care the walls we built to get comfortable will come down collapsing. But it's not true is it? One toe out of the line and the world ending! It takes much bigger things to end it. I guess!

The excitement to see Anil after such a horrible day made me feel good and I couldn't believe that I just met him this morning. At first I thought to wait for him outside his department but I thought it would look way too cheesy, so I walked around exploring the campus, when I came across the basketball court so I took a ball made a basket cause no one will see me doing this. And when It was a point I actually shouted, "Point!"

I kept on walking through fine arts department I could hear the guitar, the dance steps of the students. That's when I came across the B. Tech department it started with a sign having 8 buildings 3 floors each in a perfect row and the opposite sides was the same 8 buildings 3 floors each. As I was dueling with my mind, if I should walk in or not. That's when the bell in one of the Buildings rang and a whole crowd of students came out of the buildings. With no intention to face the crowd I turned around when I felt someone grab my wrist. And I heard a familiar voice say, "didn't expect to see you here!"

The voice made me so anxious, without turning around I started running and this time I didn't even stop for anything I just kept running till I reached my car. The relief I got reaching to the car the feeling that moment is unexplainable. But with every passing second, I could feel my heart pounding hard, the blood rushing so fast through my veins.

Without thinking anything I took my phone out sat in my car and called a number which I haven't called in for 6 months now. The moment became tensed with every ring. Until I heard her voice, "hello! Kaira honey how are you?"
"Cut the crap mom. Where is dad?"
"Aren't you a misbehaved girl!" The anger on her face I feel it all over the phone.
"Look talk to your favourite son okay I just want to talk to dad!"
"Why?"
"Fine, why did he get me admission in this college? There weren't other colleges available?"
"There were but Raj and Raghav go to the same college. So, I asked him to get you admission there, so you will have some familiar faces."
"But I don't....."
"Look you know everything and I know you lied about that night. I know you have anger issues and you can't control yourself. What you did was wrong I was so embarrassed infront of all the ladies in the club." As he finished this sentence I cut the call and again called my dad's assistant.

"Hello, Santosh uncle?"
"Yes who's this?"
"I'm Kaira!"
"Wait a minute I will give the call to sir, he was waiting for you call!"
I heard him walking to the office and asking to come in. As my dad said Hello I said hello too but as I was about to say something he said, "Do you need money? You called in for money? I will lend you money on the condition that you apologize to your mother for the way you behaved with her right now."

"I will apologize to her anyhow you know that. And I don't need any money I just called becaus...."

"Honey I know everything and you will be fine they are nice boys. Instead what you did to Raj, they agreed to look after you! Aren't they nice?"

"Yeah they are nice! Bye dad!"

NICE was a 'Very strong' word for them.

                             ******