saving serena , finnick odair (ON HOLD)

chapter eleven

Serena swallows down sick as she stares down at her plate full of salmon and fishcakes. The meal has only just started, but the female tribute can't seem to stomach even a mouthful. The harsh reality of tomorrow morning is kicking in, meaning that Serena's body is burning with adrenaline, anticipation and fear.

"Serena, eat up. You have a big day tomorrow." Andonis, District 4's self-obsessed stylist remarks. Selflessness is becoming a prominent trait with the man.

"Hey," Roman places a warm palm on top of Serena's hand, and turns to her with a small smile. "Start with small bites. We need to have all the strength we can. Who knows when we will eat again." The thought of tomorrow morning makes Serena's ill stomach disappear. Her friend is right, it's food for fight, or else she could be the first canon to sound tomorrow.

The girl delicately picks up her knife and fork, starting with a small bite of salmon like her fellow tribute advised her. All the District 4 mentors sat gathered around the table, Bronte, Mags, Kai etc. Each stumbled over each other to give any last piece of advice they could. Yet Serena knew no heart-felt comments would be shared. The mentors had distanced themselves from Roman and herself as soon as the first few days were over. None wanted to gain a connection. Unlike Finnick, who's still fairly new to mentoring, had made the mistake to befriend the duo.

"Kai?" Serena speaks up, as she starts on her fish cake, encouraging a roasted asparagus end onto her fork. She looks around the table with a heavy heart. The man glances up from his plate, a forced smile on his face after realising this is the last time he'll see Roman or Serena, or even both. "Where's Finnick?"

It hurts Serena to think that her main mentor hadn't even showed his face at dinner. She had thought he'd be the first to congratulate her on her interview. "I'm not too sure, Serena. It's unlike him to miss the night before the arena."

"Oh lovely," Brisa interrupts, a beaming smile on her lips. "I saw him speaking to his lovely friend. What's her name? Lucindia? He always makes sure to visit her and her friends when he's in the capital. He's such a thoughtful man, is he not?"

Serena's heart drops. Pain, yet guilt, corses through her blood and the ill feeling from earlier returns. She feels sick to her stomach. She won't see Finnick again, because he's chosen his last moments to be with another woman. But is it his choice?

She gulps her water down and gives a weak attempt at a smile. "I see. Well, I guess one of you will have to thank him for us."

"We will. I'm so sorry." Mags mumbles to the two tributes. She seems to hold understanding in her eyes, but not for the tributes, for Finnick.

"No need to apologise, Mags." Roman pipes up. "I want to thank you all. So much. Before I leave this table I want you all to know how much I appreciate your guidance. This is shit. It's the biggest pile of crap, as you're aware of. But without you guys, I'd be.." Roman takes Serena's hand again and smiles at her. "-we'd be going in this completely alone."

Trust Roman to say the right thing. Serena sits in relief that she doesn't have to be the one to say the thank you.

Brisa fans her face as tears start to fill her eyes, creating a pool of misery. The mentors just look sadly at their plates. Guilt will always be within them, no matter how hard they try. They will always feel responsible for each and every tribute that dies with the assist of their poor mentoring.

It's only in this moment, that Serena realises the true life of a victor. The constant misery, never-ending memories, the substantial loses. Every, single, year. Her heart aches so much for the people around the table, that she has to dismiss herself, wanting refuge in the soft sheets on her bed for one more night before she says goodbye to her life.