On Butterfly Wings

"The things that really change the world, according to Chaos theory, are the tiny things. A butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazonian jungle, and subsequently a storm ravages half of Europe." - Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

***

"If I could turn back time, if only I could do that..."

Deep in septic shock, Se-ri's heart was flatlining. An inhaler forced breath through her nose and into her lungs. Three doctors hovered over her, one with a defibrillator in his hands, one to check the IV, one to inject her with medicines.

Jeong-hyeok was pressed up against the glass of the operating room, his life tied to every beat of her heart that he saw on the monitor.

He prayed again and again to any powers that might exist above. Please let her live. Please let her live. If I've done anything good in my life... please let her live.

Because he had done this to her, he thought brokenly. He had made her faint with his harsh words. Even Agent Kim had said so. And he had made her sick before that too - she had taken a bullet for him.

How many times would he bring her to death's door? What had Se-ri ever done to him to deserve this fate? What had he ever given her besides misery, in the end?

"If I could turn back time, if only I could do that..." thought Jeong-hyeok, pulled to the brink of desperation. "I wouldn't meet you. You wouldn't get to know me. Then you would be safe and happy."

At his thought, suddenly, it was as if the scene in front of him darkened. In that darkness it was only him and Se-ri, lying on the operating table, lit by a fluorescent light. From behind him, from somewhere he could not see, he heard a voice that he thought he would never hear again.

"Do you really mean that?" asked Mu-hyeok.

Jeong-hyeok whipped around, his tearful eyes going wide with shock. Mu-hyeok stood there in the hospital hallway: healthy, whole, just as Jeong-hyeok had seen him last. Clad in his old army uniform, hat in his hands, his brother was youthful. But his face was missing its jovial smile, and his expression was unspeakably sad.

"Hyung? What are you doing here?" Jeong-hyeok asked in bewilderment. "Am I... am I dead, too?"

His stomach dropped. "What about Se-ri? Is she...?"

"No. Time has stopped," said Mu-hyeok, smiling weakly. "The gods have sent me here to give you a gift. Come."

Jeong-hyeok stared at his brother, and he did not comprehend what he was saying.

"I cannot leave, hyung," he said. "What if something happens to her?"

"She will neither die nor live while you are in this state with me." replied Mu-hyeok, his eyes full of compassion. "But you will get to make a choice. Did you really mean what you said about turning back time? Would you really change the past, little brother?"

Jeong-hyeok hesitated for just a moment, thinking of Se-ri's smiling face - how she'd entered his world one day and made him want to live again. How she said she loved him, and how he loved her.

But then he thought of how he'd ruined her world. Her mother and father were standing on the other end of the glass, watching their daughter struggle for life for the second time in a few days. She had saved him, and in return, what had he done for her? His resolve hardened.

"I mean it." he told his brother. "I do. She deserves better than me."

Mu-hyeok smiled wistfully. "Then come with me."