A Rich Pig with Issues, Lots of Issues

Two Idiots on a Roof-What Will They Do?? (Techno & DTeam)

Word Count: 831

A/N: Crack! They are all roommates in this btw. Enjoy :)

—

"Your reign of terror is over, pig! I have the high ground!"

"That isn't even how the quote goes, nerd."

"SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME!"

The two fighters got into their stances, holding up wooden swords as they glared at each other. Techno was as calm and emotionless as ever, while Sapnap smirked and showed his ego front and center. It was only a moment before they ran at each other. The two's focus was entirely trained on the fight, both readying their swords for the first attack. They raised them, got within striking distance, brought them down, and—

"WHAT ARE YOU MUFFINS DOING?!?"

They stopped midswing and Sapanap almost lost his balance, Techno quick to grab and stabilize him (though they were currently fighting, it would be rude of him to just let his opponent fall and die). After both men were situated and not in fear of falling to their doom, they turned their attention to a certain brunette who was now stood yelling at them from about 20 feet down. The fighters looked at each other, then looked back down.

"What does it look like!?" Sapnap said, responding before Techno could.

"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!"

The pinkette snorted, leaning back a bit. "Sapnap certainly does for havin' challenged me in the first place."

"I'll make you eat those words, pig." Sapnap took a step towards his opponent, looking up slightly at the taller man.

"Oh yeah? Bet, Snapple." Techno reciprocated the gesture and also took a step closer, a smirk of his own now painting his features as they were, again, up in each other's faces.

The two were broken from their oncoming fight once again by higher pitched yelling, "OH NO—DON'T EVEN THINK OF STARTING SOMETHING AGAIN! YOU MUFFINS ARE COMING DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME—"

"But how else are we supposed to settle our differences?" This time it was Techno's turn to speak up, getting away from Sapnap and looking at Bad again. Sarcasm dripped off his tone like usual as he casually spun the sword in his hand.

"I don't know—but let's start with NOT doing it by sword fighting? On a roof?? That you could EASILY fall off of?!"

Techno sighed heavily in resignation, dramatically putting the back of his hand to his forehead. "Woe is me, but a fighter deprived of their craft."

In the end, the two came down from the roof and got a stern, but mercifully short, lecture from Bad about why it was a bad idea to fight on the roof. He further explained that dying was bad and murder was bad (Techno attempted to disagree, but shut himself up as soon as the other glared at him).

Sapnap groaned, sliding down in his seat on the couch and throwing his arms up in exasperation. "So if we're not allowed to sword fight, not allowed to fist fight, and not allowed to fight in general, then how am I supposed to prove my dominance?"

Bad shook his head, rubbing his temple. He was very done with these two at the moment. "Just, I don't know, play a game or something! You're adults, you can figure it out."

A faint "are you sure about that?" could be heard from another room, making Techno raise an eyebrow and yell back. "Dream, you have literally no room to talk—sit down."

That comment was followed by muffled wheezes along with snickering from the other two in the room. Techno simply smiled to himself in satisfaction before getting back to the topic at hand. He looked over at Sapnap. "What if we played Monopoly—"

"NO"

Bad immediately shut that idea down as soon as he heard it, as did Dream, apparently,, who ran into the room just to yell at them. The blonde looked at the two in disbelief. "Why would you even try suggesting that? You two literally forced us to ban it from this house like 2 months go!"

"Yeah, but that was months ago. We're changed men!" Sapnap smirked slightly, sitting up and looking at Dream who merely responded with a deadpan expression.

"Ignoring the fact that we literally don't have a board to play on because you burned it—" Sapnap sheepishly chuckled, glancing down, "—Techno almost stabbed me since I wouldn't give him a property."

"It was the last railroad—you were bein' unreasonable!"

"It was a GAME, Techno!"

"Those are the words of a loser."

"The only thing we agree on."

Sapnap and Techno looked at each other and gave a curt nod as the others just watched on in complete disbelief. They didn't understand how their friends could be so insufferable yet so endearing at the same time. Dream and Bad looked at each other with a shared feeling of 'this was going to take a while.'

It took 20 minutes of shot down ideas for them to finally settle on Go Fish.

(They ended up in a tie)