ASSASSIN'S CREED ONE-SHOTS!

#11

Edward Thatch didn't think he'd ever get tired of seeing his fellow pirate Kenway chase a scrawny white kitten around the entirety of Nassau. Neither he nor Kidd had noticed it, but in the middle of their conversation on the porch of a local tavern with trashy service, Kenway's head had tipped to the left slightly.

Kidd was more observant than Thatch and therefore opened his mouth to inquire what was going on, but Kenway had leaped out of seat with inhuman speed and raced towards a tiny hole in the wall.

Right before he crashed headfirst into the wall, a white streak tore out of the hole. Kenway must have been expecting this as he effortlessly put a foot on the old but solid wood wall and used it like a springboard, chasing the white streak through the streets.

Neither Thatch nor Kidd had moved from their seats, and several townsfolk stopped what they were doing to watch the infamous pirate Captain Kenway chase a white blur, which had slowed down enough for Thatch's older eyes to see it was a cat.

Thatch had to concede that this wasn't entirely unusual behaviour for someone like Kenway, but he did have to question how Kenway had even noticed the cat's presence. Kidd appeared to be thinking deeply about a similar thing, and then abruptly leaned back in his seat with a satisfied smirk on his face and his arms behind his head.

He was about to ask Kidd what he'd figured out when he suddenly heard rather loud curses from behind a building. Apart from the fact that they were obnoxiously loud, the creative word choices told the two of them all they needed to know.

In sync, the pirates rose out of their chair and stamped down the steps towards the noise. Kidd was younger and therefore rounded the corner first, screeching to a halt with a look of blatant surprise and confusion at the scene before him. Then it slowly morphed into understanding, and then the unmistakeable desire to laugh.

Knowing that Kidd's reaction didn't bode well, Thatch hurried over and looked over the situation that Kenway had created.

The good news was that Kenway had the fluffy white kitten in his possession. The bad news was that he appeared to have collided with a wench from the nearby tavern in his haste, and she did not look happy.

In a moment of pure instinct, Thatch decided he'd rather face down a man o' war than the pure unrelenting wrath of a woman. Then Thatch remembered that, luckily for him, Kenway was the one in this situation.

The wench's flaming red hair was a rare sight anywhere, and her services were most likely in demand. Knowing Captain Kenway as well as he did, Thatch wouldn't have been surprised if he would've been one of her customers.

But considering that Kenway had a guilty look on his face and an all too telling piece of fabric that looked like it belonged in a wench's dress, Thatch guessed that it wouldn't be happening any time soon.

The tavern wench, fuming, began trying to punch Kenway. Ironically, Kenway – who was a self-serving pirate – was ducking to avoid the scrawny innocent kitten being hit, and in the process getting punched in the nose twice. Kenway dropped the now partially crimson piece of cloth onto the street.

Stumbling back, now bleeding, Kenway saw Thatch and Kidd. He gratefully smiled at their presence, held up the kitten triumphantly like it were a prize and began to make his way over to them. The whore saw Thatch's collection of flintlocks and Kidd's sword and decided that she'd had enough.

The civilians went on their way, muttering about how they should've gotten more of a show. Thatch and Kidd stood there patiently, waiting for Kenway to approach them.

Kenway was leaking blood from his nose and his left ear, but he was beaming nonetheless. He passed over the white kitten to Kidd, who somehow had chunks of meat already in her hand that she was tearing up into bite sized pieces so the kitten could eat.

Deciding not to question it, Thatch turned to Kenway.

"Are you okay, Kenway?"

"I've suffered worse, mate."

"I know that," Thatch insisted, "But are you sure you don't want to see a doctor or something?"

"Did I see a doctor when I got stabbed in the stomach three times? No. Therefore, I will be fine Thatch. Stop treating me like a child, okay?"

Thatch could read Kenway like a book. The pirate clearly appreciated the affection Thatch was giving him. Maybe he'd lacked a proper father figure as a child, and now Thatch was his substitute. Worse things had happened.

"Compared to me and Kidd, you are a child, mate. You're younger than both of us."

Kenway blinked, before turning to face Kidd who was currently stroking the kitten while cradling it in his arms. He turned back to Thatch, confused.

"I know you're older, but Kidd doesn't look that old. Maybe a couple years age difference, but not drastic. Right?"

"Ask him." Thatch suggested.

Kenway eyed Thatch warily, not liking the almost too-casual tone. But Kenway trusted Thatch, so Kenway reluctantly wiped his nose clean – Kidd liked all the pirates to have decent hygiene – and uttered the words that would condemn him.

"Kidd, how old are you?"

Kidd didn't respond for a moment. Then he turned to Thatch with a sickly-sweet smile on his face.

"Could you please watch the cat?"

Thatch accepted the bundle of fluff and quickly took two steps backwards to disassociate himself with Kenway. Kenway, now having realised what Thatch had done, turned tail and fled down the streets of Nassau.

"Good luck Kenway!" Thatch shouted.

"FUCK YOU!" Was what he received in reply.

Thatch didn't do Kenway the service of arguing back, as he was too amused by Kidd storming after Kenway. Kenway was sprinting at top speed, taking no chances for Kidd to catch him. As such, Kidd was falling behind.

And then Edward Kenway decided to be himself.

Pulling the dick move was his speciality, and therefore Thatch wasn't at all surprised when Kenway turned around and began running backwards to taunt Kidd face-to-face.

Unfortunately for Kenway, running backwards was significantly slower than running normally. Kidd was smart and quickly recognised this. So, Captain Kidd piled on the speed. Captain Kenway opened his mouth to taunt Kidd, before realising how much he'd stuffed up.

In what had to be the funniest thing that had ever come from Kenway's mouth, he let out an extraordinarily high-pitched squeal that made him sound like a woman rather than a man.

Then Kidd tackled him to the ground before Kenway had a chance to do anything else and began beating Kenway's face into the earth. Thatch petted the cat softly until it gradually fell asleep to the sound of Edward Kenway screaming curses.