The Sun with A False Eternity

I Love You

 It took him longer than usual to get to the tree thanks to his weakened state. He had to frequently rest so he didn't pass out, but he made it there nevertheless.

There was nothing at the base of the hill, so he began to climb it, using all of his willpower to not just race to the top. But he made it soon enough.

It didn't take long for him to spot the reason Hinata had sent him back to the place. At the very base of the tree trunk sat a small package, with an envelope on top of it. Kageyama quickly rushed over and grabbed it.

The letters that were written on the top of the envelope were shaky, but Kageyama could still distinctly make out that it was addressed to him.

He gently opened the envelope, trying to avoid ripping the last piece of Hinata that he may ever receive.

Out fell a letter, folded gently. Kageyama grabbed it, hands shaking slightly.

He could feel his heartbeat picking up once again. Without thinking twice, he unfolded the note and began to read.

"Hey Kageyama! If you're reading this then everything probably went according to plan, you'll have to give my thanks to my mother and Mr. Takeda. They helped a lot with getting this here, and I'm grateful.

Anyway, knowing who you are you're probably not doing so well right now, and... I get that. I don't blame you. You've never been good at dealing with strong emotions which is something that I both appreciated and resented. On one hand, you never sugar-coated things which was nice. But on the other, I never fully knew what you were thinking, which is strange to me."

"I guess he really was paying attention," Kageyama whispered.

"So uh... You may be wondering when and why I wrote this. Well to answer the first question, do you remember the last night that we spent under the tree? Well, as I'm writing this, it's that night. You actually just left a little while ago. But... I know I'm getting worse. I'm certain that was my last time going. I'm never going to see the gym again, I'm never going to laugh in the club room again, and I'm never going to play volleyball with you under the shade of the tree again. I've had to accept that."

Where is he going with this? Kageyama continued to read, confused.

"But I don't want this to be sad. I was too weak to say everything I wanted to say tonight, and so I'm writing it down so at least you know. I want you to know how grateful I am for everything. I don't think I'll ever be able to express how happy I am that I met you all that time ago. How happy I am that I got the chance to play against you, and with you. I want to thank you for keeping me going, for keeping me motivated, for reminding me to never give up my hope."

You did all of that for me dumbass, don't thank me for it. Kageyama's hands began to shake again. Hinata had done so much for him. Yet Hinata was the one saying thank you.

"Thanks to you, my last few months weren't as miserable as they could have been. Even though I lost the thing I truly lived for... You reminded me that there was more to life than just volleyball. That even though I couldn't play anymore, there were still things in this world that were worth living for. You spent so much of your time with me, even though I could tell you didn't like being at the hospital at first. I never did figure out what you hated so much about it. Oh well, I guess it's too late now."

The last sentence of the paragraph felt like a shot through Kageyama's chest, and he had to pause for a second to collect his breath.

"Anyway, I'm once again going off-topic. Typical of me, huh? I guess I just wanted to give you this final part of me. I know I wasn't in your life for that long. I would have loved to have stayed longer but... I guess the world didn't allow that. Still, the months I did spend with you were special. You... Made me happy. You, and your annoying, jerky, domineering personality. You made me feel safe. I don't want you to have any regrets. I don't want you to regret meeting me, I don't want you to regret playing with me, I don't want you to regret knowing me. I don't want you to regret it all. Please... Don't regret it."

"I could never," Kageyama whispered, feeling completely alone. His world still hadn't gained back any of the color it was missing. The color Hinata brought. How could I ever regret knowing someone like you?

"Anyway, I hardly have any strength left, so I should probably wrap this up. Knowing you, I know you miss me. If I'm able to think wherever I'm going next, I'll probably miss you too.

Now, I said the point of this letter was to thank you. And well... That was partly true. I'm going to say something that I don't think I ever could have said to your face. Maybe you'll hate me for it, I don't know. But... I know I'm never going to be able to rest if I don't let you know. And so...

I love you."

"Wha..." Kageyama exhaled the breath he had been holding as the world began to spin around him. He didn't even realize he was crying until a tear fell on the paper, smudging the ink slightly.

No way. There was no way.

He desperately tried to wipe off the note, afraid of ruining it.

He... Loves me back?

"I know I'm not going to be around to get your response. Maybe saying that made you regret meeting me. I don't know. But it's true. I don't remember the exact day that I realized it but... I'm in love with you. You make my life better. I don't ever want to lose you."

Kageyama had to set the note down as his entire body shook with sobs. Hinata loved him. Hinata... Actually loved someone like him. Hinata had enjoyed being around him.

"So why did you leave..." Kageyama choked as he tried to regain his breath. He picked up the letter again, forcing himself to go on.

"I'm sorry for springing this on you. I just... Needed you to know. Anyway, I can hardly write anymore. I hope you're doing okay. If I could have one last request... Don't give up on life. If there's one thing you've taught me, it's that even when you lose something great, there could still be something good right around the corner. So please, keep going. Keep playing volleyball. Keep in touch with as many people as possible. Win as many competitions as you can, and keep your head held high like the king of the court that you are. Find someone else to love. Live life to the fullest, because I can't anymore. So please... Do it for me.

Thank you Kageyama, thank you for everything. Thank you for making my life the best it could be, I'll never forget you.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Shouyou Hinata :)

Kageyama felt numb. He stared at the letter for a while longer, trying to press the words into his brain. Hinata's last words to him. He kept re reading the one line over and over.

"I love you."

He was too overwhelmed to process what he thought about it. There were so many emotions that he had been trying to tuck away for so long, all trying to force their way out. Kageyama gently set down the letter in the grass and picked up the package, already having a good guess as to what it contained.

As soon as he opened the box he found out he was right. The small night light was tucked neatly into the box with another notecard that simply read "thank you, this helped."

Kageyama clutched the object to his chest, scooting up against the tree. He finally allowed himself to let go of his emotions and cry out, cry out for everything that happened, for everything that he had lost.

He didn't know how long he sat under the shade of the tree, sobbing. The sun had already begun to dip by the time he was completely cried out, his eyes too dry to release any more tears.

Despite the pain in his chest, the tear stains on his cheeks, and the darkness that had begun to grow signaling that the night had arrived, Kageyama clutched the small night light in the shape of the sun to his heart.

Despite how lonely he felt, despite the long day, despite how much the world seemed to hurt,

Despite everything that had happened,

as Kageyama pressed the sun close to himself, he felt the smallest bit of light crack it's way through.

It felt as though Hinata was still there, reminding him once again that it wasn't over yet.

"I won't give up," he promised out loud, hoping Hinata could hear him. "I won't give up for you."