Love is Like Taking A Dump

Chapter 1

"At least I'm not a clumsy Jew like you, Kahl!" the fat ten year old boy snapped, glaring daggers at his Jewish rival. "Oh, please! One of these days you'll fall through the ground with all that fat!" Kyle retorted, poking a small finger at Cartman's pudgy belly.

It was always like this. One of them would say something stupid, and the next thing you know, they fight like they're married or something. Their two other friends, Stan and Kenny, would just ignore their bickering and move on with their lives.

After a few minutes of the two boys yelling at each other, the bus finally arrived, to Stan and Kenny's relief. It was really getting annoying to listen to constant arguing. They boarded the bus after being yelled at by Ms. Crabtree.

"Stupid bitch..."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"I said...my balls itch."
"Oh. Mine too."
"Huh?!"

Unfortunately for Kyle, Stan sat next to Wendy on the bus and Kenny sat next to Butters. The only free seat left was next to none other than the fatass himself. Just great, he thought irritatedly.

Cartman was looking out the window, but turned his head when Kyle plopped down next to him. "Sup Jew?" he greeted him casually. "Hi fatass." the redhead replied, concentrating on a book that he was reading rather than his so-called 'friend'.

"Whatcha reading?" Cartman craned his neck to see what Kyle found so much more interesting than him. "Why do you care? Whenever I tell you, you just make some stupid remark-" "Hmph, As You Like It? Isn't it that faggy play written by Shakespeare?" Cartman interrupted him.

Kyle looked up at him, looking unamused. "Yeah, that's what I mean. Now shut up and let me read." he snapped, drawing his attention back to the book. Cartman rolled his eyes and knocked it out of his hands.

"Hey! What's your problem, fatass?!" he snarled, bending down to pick it up. "The problem is that you shouldn't be wasting your time on stupid things like reading. You get enough entertainment from video games." Cartman replied.

The Jewish boy simply cast him a glare and flipped him off before going back to reading. "Stupid Jew..." Cartman grumbled, and went back to looking out the window. A patch of pretty red roses were planted in someone's backyard.

Heh, they remind me of Kyle's hair...his beautiful, vibrant red - wait a second! That sounded totally gay! he thought, cringing at himself. He snuck a peek at Kyle, feeling a slight twinge of something that wasn't hate for once. A small blush covered his chubby cheeks as he looked away.

What the hell is wrong with me today?! he thought, his brows furrowing. For some reason, Kyle seemed less like a stupid Jew and more like...well...a girl. Maybe because he was such a pussy, that had to be it! But some part of Cartman told him it was a lot more than that.