wine drunk | Heeseung x Jay

six // six

• given-taken // donné-pris •
_________

Jay replays the scene from 10 minutes ago as he sits in the uber and watches the scenery pass by outside his window.

(Heeseung being so close to him, and then him backing away slowly, the last time Jay would see that sad smile on his face.

his phone buzzes in his pocket but he is deaf and numb to the vibration and dinging sound alerting him that his ride is here.

Heeseung stands a couple feet away and Jay just wants to run to him and pull him close and promise him that he will never let him go.

Jay doesn't step forward though, allowing the space between them to remain as he sees a blue Nissan pull up on the street.

cinnamon and cigarettes.
warm breeze, warm gazes.
red wine, drunken haze.
a final dance of farewell.

it all seems so surreal.

Jay lets out a shuddered breath as he backs away to the car, taking slow steps as he drags his feet to the vehicle.

how can i leave when he's standing there looking like that. how can i leave him?

"Heeseung!" Heeseung had never taken his eyes off of him as he had increased the distance between them, and Jay can see the way his eyes shine when he calls his name.

"smile!" Jay couldn't leave with the older looking so sad.

the hardest things to let go are those most precious to us: a possession, a person, a memory.

Heeseung's lips curve into a smile– a beautiful one because Lee Heeseung is the epitome of beautiful– and Jay knows everything will be alright.

he forms his makeshift camera with his fingers and makes that cheesy clicking sound as he snaps a picture of the older for the last time.

of all the ones he 'took' that night, this one was his favorite.)

Jay foggily remembers the other parts of the memory, fusing themselves together like puzzle pieces.

getting in the uber with Heeseung still watching him. the older's hand raising in a wave and Jay pressing his palm against the window, even twisting to look out the rear window where Heeseung's figure became smaller and smaller before fading completely.

neon colors exploding in his vision as he rested his head against the car window, feeling floaty. the traffic lights seeming so much more green, the whites of the street lamps illuminating ten times brighter than they did before, yet Jay knew for sure that he wasn't drunk anymore.

the liquor had lost its effect when Jay had pulled Heeseung into his arms because there was no way his drunken self could've conjured up such a vivid scene.

it had to be real.

i'm in a cab right now. i'm heading to Canada.

if this was a movie he'd yell "stop!" to the uber driver as they speed down the highway to the airport, Jay's suitcase in the trunk after a quick stop at his hotel.