Zeke and Pattie

Chapter Eight: Zeke

June 5th 20xx

Buddy, I know it's been a long while since I've spoken to you last. Just a lot of things have taken place.

Like the past month, Pattie and I have gotten even closer.

Hell, we did something that was so amazing yet left me terribly heartbroken.

I kissed her. I became so vulnerable and broke open. I was so weak in front of her. It was pathetic.

She fell down a hill, I was afraid she would have gotten hurt. I definitely overreacted but that fear struck inside me. Like...you...did. Same with Taylor and Mandy. It was my fault you got hurt. And Taylor and Mandy, I couldn't do anything to help them. It didn't hurt any less.

I was scared I was going to lose Pattie like I lost you and so many. She was comforting me and just embraced me. I hadn't felt any sort of affection like that since you three left. One after the other.

The stupidity of my uncontrollable feelings, I just straight up kissed her. Not to take advantage of her but, to know what it was like to have the warm lips of someone I cared for so much on my own cold ones. Knowing no one could ever love me in return. Besides my first love, which I never told you about. I guess there's really four people I lost.

The moment I pulled away from her frozen state. I knew I fucked up deeply. I definitely confirmed my feelings for her. I didn't even get the chance to walk away. Pattie didn't give me an opportunity to do so. I didn't lose her. At least not yet.

Pattie Clarence was not mad at me. She didn't know the kiss was more than that for me. Not because I'm a hormonal teenager but, I was filled with affection for her. It was an in the moment response to her. Or my pure curiosity getting the best of me in our deep moments. Sure it definitely was, but I acted out on my compressed feelings for her too.

Pattie made that pretty clear she saw me as a friend. I understood completely. It was for the best and I would respect that.

Pattie told me a bit about her past as I told her some of mine. Like how I lost three people. Technically four. Having been abandoned too. I didn't explain what happened. Except for what happened to Taylor and Mandy. I couldn't deny I was close to revealing what happened with you too. I just couldn't. I refused too. Or the secret ex of mine. Both of you were touchy subjects. You were the worst of it.

Pattie also told me today that she had a past with an abusive relationship. I didn't have words to say. I was filled with so much anger at the simple thought of anyone laying a hand on her. A man isn't a man if he hurts a girl like that. Pattie made it known that her 'boyfriend' was also older than her. He lied about his apparent age too. That wasn't a boyfriend, that was a fucking predator.

Pattie told me she wished to redo our kiss together too. To remember it as a pleasant moment. Not an awkward one. In the end, we really ended up enjoying it together.

I grabbed that beautiful face and poured all my emotions among my innocent kiss.

We broke apart multiple times and went right back at kissing. Pattie admitted that I was indeed a good kisser, filled with so much passion. So gentle and kind. It killed me that her first kiss was forcibly taken by her. Or considered it to be her first kiss. That deeply saddened me. I really hoped that Pattie wasn't put through any worse sexual assault than that. I knew by the scars she showed me she was abused pretty badly physically. As well as emotionally.