Hard Trials (Book Five of the Into the Fray series)

Epilogue

      "Are you alright?"

Armitage looked at Ben across the table. Armitage was leaning on the metal table with his head against his palm. Armitage sat upright. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

A week had passed. Armitage was fresh shaven, his hair cut and slicked back. He still walked with the cane. He genuinely looked confused.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

Ben reached out and took his hand. There's no hesitation anymore. With everything that has transpired, they realize they shouldn't spend their time being embarrassed to show affection to one another. "You've been through a lot."

Armitage snorted, playfully moving their clasped hands back and forth.

"We haven't really...addressed anything. Would you like to?"

Armitage shook his hand free and then crosses his arms. "Not particularly."

"I'm worried about you."

"You shouldn't be. I'm fine."

"But--"

"Look, no offense, but I'm made of a heartier stock than you."

Now Ben crossed his arms.

Armitage waved his hand. "I was tortured. I was sexually assaulted. I had my leg broken and almost died." He shrugged. "It's just more bad things to stack on top of the other bad things that have happened."

Ben looked slightly horrified. "How can you be so flippant?"

"Suffering as a baseline is all I've known for years. I expect the worst. It's made me heartier." Armitage took Ben's hand again, proffering a small, sweet smile. "It's also made me extremely appreciative of what's good in my life."

Ben still didn't look convinced. Armitage stretched out on the table, looking up into Ben's face. "Seriously. All I've known is an abusive father. I never knew my mother, shielded from her. I was put into a place of power long before I was old enough to understand the weight that was placed on me. When I understood, there was no getting out of it."

Armitage sat back up, tracing a random pattern on the surface of the table and not looking at Ben. "I went through military training from a young age. It was difficult. My father built a ship for me, but he had made it with a passcode that would remind me of him and have it's secret only accessible by inflicting great pain on myself. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to just quit. But I didn't."

He smiled fondly, still looking at the table. "I changed my outlook. I became prestigious, renowned even. People feared me, and it became a sense of pride for me. The scared little school boy cowering before his father was dead. Instead of being bitter about the ways I had to access the secret parts of my ship, I was proud that I was the only officer in the fleet that had a ship built specifically for me. I was ecstatic knowing I was the youngest cadet to man their own ship.

"Every time something bad happens to me in my life, I always tell myself, it can't get any worse. But every time it does. But you know what else happens every time?" Finally, he looked at Ben. "I get through it. And I become stronger for it." Armitage paused. He narrows his eyes. "You still don't believe me, do you?"

"No."

"Use the Force."

Ben looked surprised. "What?"

"Use the Force. I know you can."

Ben didn't reply.

"Seriously. I give you full permission. Poke around--I'll show you anything."

Ben closed his eyes. Armitage flinched at first, but then relaxed. He's surprised that this prying doesn't hurt. This fact made him relax even more, and he gave himself fully to Ben.

When Ben was done, he knows everything Armitage said was true. He had also opened himself completely to Armitage. He allowed Armitage to explore him also, showing him everything. For a long while they sat, smiling at each other, tears in both their eyes.

The door opened. The pair looked to the side. Finn, Poe, and Rey all enter the room. The group all stopped walking when they saw the pair sitting, grinning stupidly at each other.

"Did you need us to come back?" Rey offered.

Ben and Armitage spoke at the same time. "We're fine."

End