Thinking Out Loud

January 7th, 2021

Many people say that the honeymoon stage doesn't last very long or you soon will get over it. However, I disagree. If your significant other is someone you truly love, the honeymoon stage never ends. Whether you've been with someone for a year, five years, ten years, or 30 years, it does not mean that it ends. It doesn't mean you stop showing affection or you stop trying. You should always keep trying to win your significant other over and show them that you love them every day. Time shouldn't determine when to stop showing you still care.

When it comes to showing love, it doesn't mean you have to buy the most expensive gift or take them out to an expensive restaurant. It's the thought, love, and being able to show that you still care. Personally, I'm a hopeless romantic and I love someone who's cheesy. I appreciate the fact that my partner took the time out of their day to think about me. It shows that they listened to me whenever I rambled about who knows what. It makes you feel loved. 

It hurts when your partner has stepped out of the honeymoon stage though. 

It may not be personal, but you can't help but feel like it is. You begin to feel as if they've stopped caring. 

The beginning was wonderful. He wanted to see me every chance he got. He would do anything to see me at any time of the day. He did all of the little things I love. Whenever we had an issue, he wanted to solve it and move on. Now, it's completely different. I get lucky if I can get him to see him. We spend less time together. Conversations seem to get shorter. He will make plans, but sometimes won't through with them. I get scared to make plans because of the rejection. He once said, "when we first started dating, I stopped playing video games because I wanted to talk to you." 

Recently, when I brought it up, he said, "It's different now. We've been together long enough." 

Maybe I'm exaggerating or overthinking, but I don't think that's something any girl would want to hear. I started to put the pieces together and it clicked. He was over the honeymoon stage. We've been dating long enough, he doesn't need to try anymore, right?

I battle with myself. If I choose to bring it up, it seems as if I'm asking him to care and show me he loves me. It'll be disrespecting myself because I don't believe in having to ask them to love you or show that they care. But if I don't communicate, will it ever change? Will he be able to read my mind? It's a tough battle, but I rather talk about it. It seems as if he is slowly drifting away and it's painful. 

That effort is suddenly gone. Being in his life has begun to feel like a burden. Everything has changed. It can be difficult adjusting to change. I question whether I'm the one he wants to be with because you only do those things for the person you want to be with. I can't help but cry to myself and wonder what I'm doing wrong and what I can change to be better. Every day I wonder if there's someone else. I wonder if he thinks about someone else. 

How can you not when they aren't making you feel appreciated?

If they tell you they still love you without actually showing it how can we believe it? Especially when you've expressed yourself. Expressing how you feel should be enough to help. It should never depend on anyone else but the two of you.

I love him. I have put myself through everything for him yet it seems like he can't see it. I would do anything for him. My pride was something that always stood in the way of my previous relationships and I let it down when it came to him. It's not about what we do for them because you should never throw in your partner's face everything you've done. If you're doing something for them it should be out of love, not to have the satisfaction of what you do. If you do that, you're just selfish. It should never be okay to throw that in your partner's face whether they asked you to do it or not. If you want a prize or be acknowledged every time you do something nice for someone, do it somewhere or enter some sort of contest or charity event. Don't do it to your partner if they don't deserve it. What you choose to do should always be out of love.

When you're put in that type of situation, the best you can do is talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Don't be afraid to open up to them. We all need that reassurance in our relationships and it's okay. 

If they are making the attempt to better the relationship, never give up on the person you love. 

Has anyone ever gave you a reason to question your relationship or their love?

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