The Pursuit

Thirty

⬻Maggie⤖

Ellie came back with us to Damien's apartment and we got into his wine supply. She filled me in on every little piece of information I may have missed in the years we were disconnected. She told me about the parties she went to, the meetings she had, the promotions she received and the loves she had conquered and already forgotten. I envied her as she spoke so carefree about her life. She was the epitome of a life. She was blessed with the skills and knowledge of how to live and work in a world that was an everyday challenge. She caught me sitting hunched over a bit and pushed my shoulders back, "Maggie, sit up straight, it's not good for your mental health to slouch", she said.

I didn't question her, it never really was worth it in the end. She would have some psychological or philosophical reason why I should do something. I only laughed her off and tried to be brighter with her. I didn't want to let the darkness in again. I needed to move forward, forge ahead and make my moves to be better.

"So what's the plan for you now?" she asked as we sat on the couch, each one of us under our own blanket. Damien retired to his room when we got back to give us alone time. I had thought he was pensive on the way to his house but I didn't really have the time to stop myself from the force of Ellie. She was an attention hog and at a fault unaware of the presence of those she was not concerned with.

"Where should I start?" I asked her as I sipped my wine. The alcohol was beginning to serve a purpose as I felt the buzz come to me.

"Well you said that Sarah has been locked up and I am going to assume that Abby has too since there was that phone call when we left the restaurant.", she asked inquisitively.

"Yes, Abby was arrested this afternoon in New York, at a friend's apartment." I said with relief emanating through me. Two down, one to go. Only the big bad wolf left.

Ellie moved in her seat and sat back more comfortably with her wine glass in her hand. "So what's the deal with Sam then? They can't find him?" I looked at her with a tinge of confusion and then looked out to the Boston skyline lit up with specks of light .

"No", I said and as I say the word I don't have a feeling of fear or anxiety. It's the first time I can honestly say to myself that I don't fear this man. "I'm not sure where he would go to be honest. I know that there is a part of me that thinks he'll come after me, that he needs to possess me for his twisted fantasy but I want to be honest with myself and I say that I am not afraid of him", I admitted to her.

I sat up a bit straighter and let myself register what I'm saying out loud. "That is a pretty big statement to make, not really rational but then again who said we're the most rational of people?" Ellie laughed out and finished her glass. She reached for the bottle and filled another full glass. I outreach mine and she filled mine.

"I'm just done with the hiding, and the running away from healing. I want to be myself again and he was a part of that whole process, part of the reasons why I couldn't make myself better." I looked back to the city and then to her. Ellie smiled brightly at me and nodded her head empathically.

"Are you better?" she asked quietly. She searched me for my answer.

"Not wholly, no" I paused and thought about the past week I had with Damien. I could feel myself relax and become hopeful about him. I could feel the butterflies start to swarm in my stomach and my chest beat a bit faster. A steady and strong beat of a drum started to pick up tempo and I became fully aware of it in that moment with my best friend asking me about my betterment. "I think this past week helped me, to see who I could be, what I could be capable of", I said with confidence I didn't think was there.