West Coast

Dean

A week after Hoagie's passing, Cas finally let himself relax. His OCD was in full force, and he was compelled to track everyone's meals, especially Fries', but nothing more than that.

'You're not worried about a delayed reaction, or anything?' Dean asked him.

Cas shook his head, holding Dean's hand as they watched Jack play outside. 'I feel mostly all right. I think it's under control.'

'Really?' Dean teased, holding the orange Cas had let him eat.

Cas rolled his eyes. 'I mean, it's not going to get worse. We just have to ride it out.'

'Got it.' Dean peeled the orange, grinning at Cas.

It was a difficult adjustment without Hoagie at first. Fries got confused several times, even though they'd spent time training without him, she kept looking for him. She was distracted enough that she missed Cas's seizure signs while they were out walking once, and he was on bed rest for a week after he hit his head on the sidewalk.

It was tough going, but eventually she got used to it. A few hiccups meant that Jack had to stay with Sam more often than Cas would have liked, but they were soon back into their regular routine.

Dean woke up early in the mornings and made everyone breakfast, then dropped Jack off at school. Sometimes he would drop Cas at his studio, but Cas was rarely awake enough at that time of day to paint, so he usually got a cab later on, or a lift with Jody if she was free. Cas would walk Fries for an hour, work out at the gym every other day, and then spend the rest of the day painting, while Tessa made sure he'd taken his medication on time. Then Sam or Jess would pick Jack and Mary up from school, dropping Jack home for the afternoon.

Cas always put away his painting for Jack, and they would spread his homework out over the table. Cas was always happy to help, especially since it would be good for his brain to keep it active in this way. He didn't like to admit it, but helping Jack with his homework made him realise that he'd forgotten a lot of the basics.

'Maybe I should go back to school,' he mumbled one evening, after he'd struggled to help Jack with his math homework.

'Oh yeah? You think you can retain it?' Dean asked, kissing his head.

'I don't see why not.'

Dean thought about it. 'I don't know... You get overwhelmed by lots of people... Why don't we look at a private tutor? That would help you and Jack, right?'

'I think that's a great idea.'

'I'll get on it tomorrow.'

Dean found a tutor pretty quickly, and he came around after school during the week. He would come in from work and find them all at the dining room table, Fries at Cas's feet, and the cats sitting on whichever chairs they felt like.

'Hi, Dean!' Jack would shout whenever he came in, then immediately rattle off what he had been learning.

Dean always listened with a smile, but after a few weeks, Cas noticed a touch of sadness in Dean's eyes. He didn't mention it at first, but it only became more noticeable, so he waited until Jack was asleep and sat Dean down at the table.

'Something's wrong,' he said, and Dean avoided his eyes. 'Tell me what it is.'

Dean rolled his shoulders. 'It's nothing,' he said, rubbing his eyes.

'It's something.'

'Really, it's stupid.'

'It's not if it's bothering you.'

Dean hesitated, but couldn't tear himself out of Cas's gaze. 'I - listen, I know I'm being stupid, but sometimes it's like...'

'Like?'