West Coast

Chapter Twenty-one

The next few days were rough. Dean did decide to take the time off, but they had to keep every door in the house, except the front, thrown wide open.

Cas knew Dean was doing his best, but it didn't stop his shaking, or prevent him from getting stuck switching the porch light on and off over and over again before bed.

They watched movies together mostly, curled up under a blanket on the couch. Dean made him eat at least a few bites at every meal, and though he was rarely hungry, he didn't want to lose what he'd worked for, so he ate as much as he could.

On the fourth day, Cas went back to checking his schedule and writing on the whiteboards, and even took Hoagie for a short walk. Then, slowly, he levelled out again. He had a couple of long sessions with Penny once the nightmares subsided, and finally forced Dean back to work.

'Are you sure?' Dean asked, the morning he was supposed to go back.

Cas put a hot mug of coffee in Dean's hands. 'Yes. I'm all right.'

'You're amazing,' Dean smiled.

'You need to drink your coffee.'

Dean chuckled. 'Yeah.'

'That client's car is still waiting, you know.'

'Hey, you remembered!'

Cas nodded. 'The memory clinics are working.'

'Yeah, I noticed.' Dean took a gulp of his coffee. 'Listen, I'm sorry about what happened to you.'

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you,' Cas replied. 'I'm starting to think that the old me was a little closed off.'

'Just a smidge,' said Dean.

'It's okay if you're angry with me.'

'I meant it when I said I'm not mad. I'm just glad you're okay.'

Cas raised an eyebrow.

'Okay, maybe I'm a little mad,' Dean admitted, 'but it's not a big deal.'

'You can tell me the truth, Dean.'

'Look, I want my husband to tell me things and talk to me, but I knew this about you when I married you.'

'I'm honest with you now.'

'Yeah, you are.' Dean finished his coffee. 'All right, I gotta go. See you later.'

'Have a good day, Dean.'

Cas painstakingly worked through his routines until he felt more grounded, even going back to the gym. He knew that Dean was satisfied with his progress when paperwork for their vacation started appearing around the house.

'Hey, so I talked to your doctor today,' Dean said over dinner one evening. 'He says that your brain will be fine with the pressure on the plane, but he said that it might give you a headache, or make you dizzy or sick, and it could trigger a seizure.'

'Right.'

'So it's totally up to you, but is that something you think you can handle? Do you still want to go?'

Cas thought about it carefully. 'I'll have Hoagie with me?'

'Yeah, I mean, I have to check with the airline and make sure we get the right seats, but yeah, Hoagster can come.'

'Then, I want to go.'

Dean grinned. 'Sweet.'

Dean went about his preparations, making his own lists and notes of things they would need, which he would then struggle to decipher. Cas sat at his easel, frowning at his painting, and translating Dean's notes for him every now and again.