West Coast

Chapter Five

Cas slept until late morning the next day, finally catching up on some rest. Dean had already gone to work, so Cas lay in the bed for a while, lazily rolling onto his back. He only got up when he felt a slip of paper on Dean's pillowcase.

Hope you slept well, was written in Dean's handwriting, and Cas smiled.

He slowly pulled on some clothes, hoisting Hoagie up for a hug, and wandered out to the kitchen. He opened the glass door, but halted in his tracks when he saw Dean leaning against the kitchen counter, sniffing and wiping tears away from his cheeks.

'Dean?' Cas said uncertainly.

'Cas,' Dean croaked, hurriedly attempting to collect himself.

'What's wrong? Aren't you supposed to be at work? Was last night too much?'

'No, no, of course not,' Dean said. 'It's nothing, I'm fine.'

'Dean, you promised to be honest with me.'

Dean sighed and rubbed his face. 'You're right, I just... I'm having a hard time, I guess. They sent me home from work.''

'You can tell me.'

Dean nodded. 'I started trying to fix up the car, but I- I couldn't do it.'

'I don't understand. You've fixed it before.'

Dean chuckles slightly. 'Not like that. I'm pretty sure it's salvageable. It's more like, it reminds me of what happened.' He trailed off to a whisper. 'What I did to you.'

'Dean...'

'You can't defend me on this. You don't remember.' Dean sniffed again.

Cas didn't say anything. He approached Dean carefully, watching the guilt etch itself into every line of Dean's face. He stopped just short of Dean. He considered saying something, or reaching out and touching Dean, but he couldn't figure out what would be best. Instead, he held out Hoagie, who had been sitting patiently in his arms.

Hoagie sniffed Dean, wagged his tail, and began licking Dean's face furiously.

Dean laughed and took Hoagie from Cas, hugging him close.

'Show me,' Cas said suddenly. 'The car, I mean.'

Dean's smile dropped and he lowered Hoagie to the floor. 'I don't know, Cas-'

'I want to see it,' Cas insisted.

'It's really mashed up.'

Cas bit his lip. 'We had our first kiss in that car,' he mumbled. 'It's another piece of the puzzle, and I think I need to see it.'

Dean looked at him, shocked. 'You remember that?'

'You didn't tell me that?'

'No.'

Cas thought hard. 'I- yes, I suppose I do.'

'And?'

'It was... nice. We had dinner. I don't remember what we had...' Cas rubbed his head. 'Then we were in the car, and I kissed you, I think.'

'Yeah, that's right.'

Cas's mind went hazy again and he couldn't recall anything else.

'Maybe it's better you don't remember what happened next,' Dean smiled. 'At least not til you remember some other stuff.'

Cas blushed.

'All right, I'll take you to the car,' Dean said after a moment. 'Maybe it could help.'