The Vampire and Her Wolf

Chapter 17 I Am Sorry.

~Journal~

I've been with wolf for three weeks now.. I love the time I've spent with him I've missed him so damn much it's been killing me!! He's such an amazing animal I love him so much and I will never stop loving him.. He has become a part of me now, without him I am nothing but an empty body with no soul!

Part of me wonders though.. we haven't seen any k-9 units or cops at all for the past two weeks... Have they just called off the search? Does my mother and sister miss me? Are they wondering if I'm safe or where I'm even at? But I don't concern myself with the issue.. I'm here with my wolf and I know he'll keep me safe no matter what! That's what matters to me most!

Over the next two, three days we've spent so much time together I start to forget about my mom and my sister. All I can think about is my wolf with his grey coat and his bright blue eyes staring back at me. I honestly don't know if I'm ever going to go back home but if I do my wolf is coming with me.

I really don't even know what they would do if I showed up home, they'd probably yell at me and cuss me out but it's okay I know I'll get through it. I don't even really miss them because of how depressing it was to be beaten by them in the past.

Wolf is changing that now! I've become so happy with him he means the world to me! These past two weeks I've been hugging him so hard he whimpers, I think I'm crushing him but he's getting used to it. Writing in my journal really does pass the time when Wolf and I aren't doing anything but sitting in our cave.
~Vampire~

9:00pm we've been sitting in here nice and warm for hours but we haven't gone out to hunt at all.. I lean down to look at him after writing in my journal.. "Hey wolf do you feel like going out tonight?" He still doesn't move or give me a response... "Well wolf I'll go out and get us dinner since you obviously don't want to!" I get his head off my lap and get up, grab my hoodie and start to head out the cave.

I feel a tugging on my pants and turn around, I'm getting mad because I'm hungry and we haven't fed yet. "Wolf let me go I'm getting us dinner let go!" I try to pull away but he's still holding on, "DAMN IT WOLF LET ME GO I'M HUNGRY!" I yell at him as I smack him in the head!

I watch as his whimpering away and lays down at the other end of the cave. I'm starving god I'm so hungry! "I'll be back soon I love you wolf!" I yell as I run out the cave. I get deep into the woods and climb the nearest tree, putting one ear bud in while I'm looking around for dinner.

Thirty-five minutes go by and still no sign of anything good for dinner yet. As I'm sitting here in this tree feeling the cold wind through my hair, I start to think about what I did earlier.. What I did is making me feel completely like shit now!

I can't believe I did that to him! What the fuck is wrong with me! My eyes start to tear up and I just want to run back to him but I can't cause I have to get us dinner first.

Over the next hour I finally notice a doe two trees ahead of me and go for it! I jump and hit the ground sprinting after it! It's running further and further into the woods and I realize I have to get this deer before I get lost.

I climb the next tree and leap for it landing on its back, I reach for its head, SNAP! I fall with it as it stumbles to the ground! I get up and start dragging it behind me. "God my legs hurt!" I say to myself as I'm walking back to the cave. This really sucks he probably won't even eat because of me.

By the time I get back to the cave my eyes feel heavy, I lay the deer down and skin it. Once I'm finished I bring in all the meat for him. I set it next to him and try to get him to eat but he won't.. I'm on my knees in front of him about to lose my mind trying to get him to eat. My eyes are filling with tears and it's getting hard for me to look at him.

"I'm sorry wolf I didn't mean to hit you, I was just mad because we haven't fed I'm so sorry wolf!" My face falls to the palms of my hands as I'm crying. Even if it was just a smack in the head cause I was angry, I know I hit him hard! But I never ment to hurt him.

I slowly lean over and kiss him on the head as I'm crying.. "I'm sorry wolf I love you." I stand myself up, turning around and I just walk away from him, leaving all our dinner with him. I get to the other side of the cave grabbing our blanket as I lay down and cover myself up.

All I can do is watch him cause I don't know if he wants me to be next to him after what I did. I lay here watching him as he eats and my stomach rumbles in hunger.. I honestly don't even want to eat tonight! I grab my headphones and my phone so I can listen to music to help calm me down, We keep making eye contact while he eats but doesn't get up at all.

It's been fifteen minutes and I feel tired and my eyes hurt from crying so much.. He's finished eating but there's still meat left but I don't care I just want him right next to me! I lay here waiting and waiting for him to do something but nothing happens, I fall asleep staring at him since nothing has happened at all this whole time which makes me feel worse about what I had done.