Quotes,lyrics, and sayings

Learning from my past

As the days pass slowly

And the weeks creep by

I find myself obsessing

About ways that I could die

I lay awake at night

Think of my pain.

There's no way it can get better;

I have nothing left to gain.

Suddenly thoughts of death

Are controlling my every move.

And every battle with my mind

I always seem to lose.

I no longer want to be around

The people that I love

All I can think about

Is what's waiting above

I cut my arms with razor blades

To numb my pain inside

But that only lasts so long;

I don't want to be alive.

I manage to keep my composure

When people arse around

They wouldn't understand me

So I don't make a sound

I smile when I have to

I break down when I don't

I know I should be strong

But I also know I won't.

So I make a plan to take some pills

It shouldn't take too long

I write out notes to all my friends

To read when I'm gone

I ask my mom to understand

That life is just too hard

My mom can't fight it anymore

My heart is just too scarred.

I plan it out so perfectly

I even set the date

I'm pretty sure I'm ready

I know this is my fate

My bed is made up neatly

As I take them one by one

I start to feel a little sick

I know I'm almost done

All I can think about

Is how I'm letting go

And how much I love my family

I hope they really know

My eyes are getting heavy

My body feels so weak

Everything is numb

That's how it has to be

I'm glad that moms not home right now

To watch me slowly die

But I still wish I could say

I love you and goodbye

I give into the darkness

I slowly slip away

I hope I go to heaven

Where dark night turns to day

I wake up in confusion

I don't know where I am

Is it heaven or is it hell?

The land of the eternal damned?

There are people all around

All though I can barely see.

I hear the soothing voices

Of people dear to me

My family and friends are here

Comforting one another

I can hardly make out voices

Until I hear my mother

Each tear she cries feels like a knife

Stabbing my soul

I let my pain and suffering

Blind me from my goal

At one point I was determined

To make it through this test

To live a life of fulfillment

And to do my very best

But I somehow lost sight of that

I hope she can forgive

I promise jot to waste

My second chance to live

I sit up in my bed

Tears streaming down my cheeks

My mom rushes over

Like she's not seen me in weeks

I tell her I'm sorry

For causing so much strife

To tell her I will succeed

In living a better life

I've learned to live each passing day

As if it were my last

I look forward to my future

And I'm learning from my past