to hell and back || l.s.

dix

**Louis POV**

I came home from a walk with Niall and went straight to my room where I threw myself on the bed. Today was strange. Well not all of today but my encounter with Harry.

We ran into each other in the park where I was with Niall. I thought it was nice to see him again and that maybe he would get along with Niall, but when I introduced them to each other he had a cold look in his eyes and said that he had to go and walked away.

Now that I thought about it, it wasn't too weird. Just normal Harry behaviour because even though I thought it would get better and he became nicer he was still Harry. And Harry was mean and unsocial. But even when I knew all of this it still hurt a bit when he just hurried away.

Thinking about it just made me sad so I put a nice movie on and went to bed afterwards.

-

The next day I went out to meet up with Liam but before I could get to the place where he would be, I got stopped by an angel. More specifically Harry. He landed right in front of me so that I had to stop dead in my tracks.

"What do you want? ", I asked him hoping I didn't came off rude when I was just in shock of him landing only a few steps in front of me. Thankfully, my worries seemed to be unnecessary.

"I want my wish granted", he stated.

I needed a few seconds to remember that I promised him a wish in exchange of his help.

"Oh. Yes, sure. What is it?"

"I want to die", Harry looked me straight in the eyes.

"But you're already dead", was my not very thoughtful answer.

"Yeah, but not really, like I'm an angel so technically I'm still kind of live. But I want to be dead. Really dead. Like, not feeling anything dead."

I just stared at him. He had one wish and he wanted to be non-existent? I couldn't wrap my head around it. It just didn't make sense to me why someone would want that. So, after a while I asked him.

"Why?"

"How do you think I died?", he answered me.

I thought about it. He looked young. He couldn't have been older than 19 when he died.

"I don't know. A car accident?", that was a valid answer, right? Maybe he drove drunk or something.

"No Louis. It wasn't an accident. I killed myself."

I was shocked. But at the same time, I wasn't. It now made more sense. Him hating everything and everyone, him not wanting to be an angel like he said when we first made the deal. I didn't know what to answer because while my father could grant him this wish, I didn't want him to.

Call me selfish or whatever but I really liked Harry and didn't want to lose him.

Finally, I said:" No, I won't do that."

"Why not? You said every wish!", Harry almost shouted, angrily with tears welling in his eyes.

"Yes, every wish but this. Life is too precious to throw it away", I answered trying to sound as calm as possible which did nothing to help as the first tears fell from his eyes.

"I'm not throwing away anything. Okay? I just don't want to exist anymore. I wanted to die four years ago, and I want to die now. You never lived my life, you never felt what I felt, so much pain and loneliness, and you never had your heart broken so many times that you just couldn't take it anymore and wanted to die so fucking badly."

By now he was full on crying, tears running down his cheeks steadily. He had to stop to take a breath but before I could have said something he continued talking.

"And you never succeeded with killing yourself, thinking everything will finally stop just to realise that there is an afterlife and that you can still feel all the pain and probably will forever! So, don't you dare tell me that life is precious or what to do with it because you never where I my place. I mean the whole fucking reason I fucking killed myself was to finally be free from life and everything bad that comes with it!"

When he finished talking with a frustrated sigh. It was silent for a while until I came up with something to say.

"Why now? Why now when we became friends? Do I really mean nothing to you? Because just so you know I would terribly miss you", I said speaking nothing but the truth. I would miss him if he ever were to leave. I got attached to him, maybe even liking him more than a friend.

"Yeah right", he said, scoffing sarcastically.

"You don't believe me?", I asked, a bit hurt that he thought he didn't mean anything to me.

"It's not that I don't believe you, I'm sure you would miss me for like, probably a week maybe two but then you'd get over me."

"Do you really think that? Because I can assure you that's not gonna happen. I would not just get over you not being here anymore."

"Yes, you would."

God he was stubborn.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you have the perfect life. You have a father who loves you, many friends and a wonderful boyfriend. There's no place for a fucked-up angel to be remembered."

"You're not- wait boyfriend?", I asked genuinely confused.

"Yeah, Niall!", Harry scoffed.

I started laughing hysterically making him blush.

"How did you come up with that bullshit. Niall is not my boyfriend, just my best friend and if you had listened to me you would know that", I said while giggling and coming down from my sudden laugh-outbreak, remembering our conversation in the park.

"But he called you babe, which is normally something you call your partner.", he frowned confused.

"That's just how Niall is he calls everyone by nicknames and sometimes pet names."

"So, you are not together?", he asked.

"No, we are not."

"That's good. Great actually.", he answered, slowly starting to smirk.

"You think so?", I said, curious why he liked the idea of me not having a boyfriend so much.

"Yes. Because otherwise I wouldn't have a chance with you."

This took me by surprise. Never in a million years would I have thought that Harry could reciprocate my feelings.

"Was that the whole reason with the wish?"

"No. But I guess seeing you with Niall triggered something inside me...my wish to die had never been this big since I became an angel....", he frowned, scratching his neck.

"So, you don't want to die anymore?"

"I guess it's not as bad,", he smiles, "You won't tell your dad my with anyways..."

"I won't ever tell him. I like you too much for that", I said smiling back at him.