Only Of You || Trillie

|6|

One thing Tré hadn't learned yet was how easily Billie could play tricks on people.

Tré was laying in Billie's bed from the night before. He still was half undressed, he'd been cuddled up to the other man after they'd kissed. The room was quiet, there wasn't a single sound or anything to be heard throughout the apartment. Tré, with his eyes still closed, used his hand to try to feel Billie's body laying next to his. Nothing.

He missed the guitarist's presence, even if he was just there to annoy him and be an all around nuisance. He missed the sex and masturbation jokes. He hadn't been without him for long, of course, but the lack of Billie managed to get to him. He quickly realized he was fucking hooked on that man. He was absolutely fucked if anything were to happen to him or their friendship.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, taking a quick glance around the room, but there was no sign of Billie except for a pile of clothes on the floor at the end of the bed. He got up and left his bedroom, finding Billie sat on the couch playing Blue.

He sat on the floor and listened to him play. He seemed to be plucking strings trying to figure out how his song should go. Tré liked this. It felt peaceful and pleasant and everything felt okay in the world. The pressures that had been on him in the past dissipated, completely gone. He was at peace.

Billie hadn't really taken a moment to acknowledge Tré's presence. Tré didn't really mind. He just liked the music. He liked Billie's singing and he liked their shitty shared apartment. He thought maybe, maybe if the circumstances were different he'd tell Billie he loved him because from the way he felt right now he was sure he did. Even if it was only a little bit.

When Billie was done, he took his guitar and moved it to his own room. He came back and took his place back on that junky old couch. It was perfect to Tré. Even though the apartment and the furniture was all just collectively trashy, he thought it was fitting for whatever reason. He knew he was getting comfortable. He used to be scared of that. He thought he couldn't handle leaving. But from the way things were going, he didn't think that he would get kicked out or Billie would find a wife, he didn't think anything could possibly go wrong because everything just seemed to be falling into place.

"Do you really think about me?" Tré asked him, awkwardly fidgeting with one of his socks. Billie laughed and looked over at him, smiled, and then looked down at his feet. He realized it probably wasn't a good question to ask, then covering his face and waiting for a reply.

Billie seemed to need to think for a moment. The room was awkwardly silent, which neither of them liked or were used to. He sighed before coming up with an answer. "I think it's pretty hard not to think about someone that lives with me, dumbass."

"So.." Tré trailed off, trying to think of something to say. He was even more embarrassed now than before. "Was it.. was it just for show?"

"Maybe," Billie replied, then sighing. "But I do like kissing you."

Tré fell completely silent. He didn't know how to respond to that. It stung. It stung a lot. He felt used and he felt as if Billie had used him as a prop and he didn't want to feel like that. He cursed himself for letting him think any different about Billie right then and there and he was fucking angry that he ever let Billie have him in a way that suggested they were more than friends.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Tré announced in his frustration.

He walked in and for the first time in a long time, just cried. He cried and he stayed there and he wondered what he did to deserve this sick fucking joke. He couldn't believe he fell for Billie that easily and he felt stupid. So fucking stupid. There was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't yell at Billie. He couldn't tell him to fuck off or go away. He couldn't just hit the streets again with no money and no place to stay. That wasn't an option, he couldn't handle that again. Whether he liked it or not he was stuck with Mike and Billie and he had to pretend like he didn't just have his heart broken.