My leg is trembling underneath the table as I tap my pen impatiently, staring down at the paper work in front of me. I continue the tapping of the pen until I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I turn to see an annoyed woman, staring at me irked.
I turn around again, remembering that I am in a coffee shop with quiet people sitting around me. The only sounds are the cars passing by outside on the busy street and the cash register dinging occasionally.
I put my head in my hands and sigh.
I can't concentrate. I take a sip of my tea, every time, hoping it would ease my mind but it doesn't help.
Tonight is the first time I'll be seeing Harry since the thing I did in the parking garage. I've tried so hard to keep him out of my head, my heart clenching at the memory of our last encounter.
I've been trying to keep myself occupied, doing more paper work for Jerry or spending most of the time I have free with my mother. He's speaking tonight at a community event in Harlem for the youth. When Timothy spoke to me about it, I thought it was the perfect first event for Harry. He'll be able to share his story with younger kids who have gone through a lot as they're grew up, involving themselves in situations that would most likely ruins their childhood.
I take a deep breath, which I have been doing non stop ever since he left. I re-focus, or try to, and run my eyes over the significant diction on the paper that I can't seem to get through my head.
Re-reading it, I grunt, too loudly and the same woman sucks her teeth before she gets up and leaves.
~••~
Cameras flash as the important people arrive. I spot Rick talking to one of the kids, high-giving him before he runs off.
"Hey." I greet him, giving him a quick hug.
"You look amazing." He compliments my dress and I blush.
"Thank you, so do you. It's weird seeing you in a suit." I joke and he laughs with me.
"Harry should be around here somewhere." He begins to look but I don't bother. I'm already nervous to see him.
What will he say? What will I say?
"How is he?" I ask about him anyway.
"He's nervous, you know, he isn't much of a talker in the first place let alone having him stand at a podium to speak to a crowd." Rick says.
"But this will be good for him." I say and he nods in agreement.
"Everything you're doing for him is good for him." He says and I smile at his words before thanking him. "They have sponsees everywhere around here. I saw Nike, Gatorade, Adidas, this place is full of important people."
"I'm sure he'll get one tonight. Maybe even two." I say.
"There he is." He says, looking over my shoulder. I instinctively look to see him. He's smiling genuinely at a woman as she speaks to him. He nods along to every word she says and takes her hand, shaking it before his eyes leave hers to land on mine. My breathing stops and my heart skips a beat. I gulp, my throat dry.
I turn away as soon as I notice he's walking towards us and I quickly grab a glass of, what looks like fruit punch, from a tray that walks by on a servers hand. I take a gulp, hoping there's alcohol but there isn't.
I can smell him before I hear him. "How are you doing?" Rick asks him with an amused smile on his face.
Harry chuckles, nudging Rick's shoulder before looking to me. "Faye," he says and I quickly look to him. "You look lovely."
"Thank you." I nod. "So do you."
He shrugs. "You know how much I hate suits." He says and I nod, laughing a bit and my nerves seem to dissipate slowly.
"You've got your speech ready to go?" I ask and he sighs.
"For the most part." He says. "I've read my notecards aloud to my mum about forty times. She says it's good so." He shrugs and I chuckle.
"You'll do great." I say. "Just don't look down at the cards too much, make eye contact, make them feel you."
He smiles at me and nods. "Okay."
I feel my cheeks warm before I look away, Rick pulling him into a conversation about the sponsors.
~••~
The crowd quiets down as the host of the event speaks into the podium microphone about the troubled youth in the city. I find myself looking for Harry, finding him in the far corner from the stage. He stands, looking down at his cards. I smile as I watch him, his lips moving as he reads his words.
"There aren't many people who are able to speak today about their hardships during their childhood, mainly because they themselves have ended up in jail or dead. But today, we have someone who has used the weight of their hardships for something that helped them achieve great things. Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles."
The crowd cheers and applauds as Harry enters the stage and shakes the hand of the host, making his way to the podium. He smiles at everyone and nods as they continue to cheer. I laugh at the things the kids yell and smile up at him as he chuckles himself.
"Thank you." He speaks, the crowd slowly quieting down. "Thank you." He says again. "It's truly an honor to be here and to be a part of something like this." The crowd has calmed and are fully captivated now.
"My mum always told me to be honest and to have a kind heart," he starts. "But growing up, I never felt like I had that kind heart or the honesty that she wanted me to have. I lied my way through a lot of things, stole from good people, fought my way through school, literally." The crowd laughs lightly.
"I knew it wasn't right but back then it was what I felt like I needed to do. Whether it was for the attention or because I needed to fuel my anger." His eyes jump from the crowd to the cards he set on the podium. Cameras flash and he takes a deep breath. "I grew up without my father. And it wasn't only hard on me but for my mother, the incredibly strong woman who raised me on her own. I didn't have it as bad as you guys did but it was hard." He gulps. "It was hard believing my own father didn't want anything to do with me. It was hard trying to make others believe that I was okay, that I didn't need him or anyone to help me. But the truth was, I did. I needed help. I found something that I could put my anger towards, something that made me feel good." I smile at his words.
"If there's something you find yourself doing a lot, something that helps you relax or let loose, keep doing it. Turn it into something that'll make you a better person. For yourself, for your family, for your future. Anything that keeps you inspired or motivated. It can be anything. Just believe that as long as you put your heart and soul into it, things will work out just the way you want them to."
I find myself wiping my cheek from a tear.
"Look around you," he says to the kids. "Go on, look at the people standing beside you."
Everyone turns their heads to look around the room. I smile at the kids and they grin, looking to the adults and other kids around them.
"These people," he starts again. "These people that stand with you, they are here for you. They care about you and your future. Let them care." He says. "Let them help you."
It's quiet for a few seconds before he thanks everyone, the room erupting into cheers once again.
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