He wasn't the man I had always imagined he was. He's a stranger to me yet I feel as if I've known him my whole life. So much as come into view; everything that happened between my mother and him. She had never spoken about him and I see why now. He broke her heart into a million pieces and there was no way he could fix that.
But if he would've stayed, he wouldn't be the man he was today. If he would've stayed, I would've grew up with a father.
"Harry." I quickly look to Faye, her worried brown eyes on mine. We sit in her car, the reality of me meeting my father for the first time settling. She plays with her fingers, the sound of the infant rain drops against the metal of the car. "How do you feel?" She asks, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"I'm okay." I breathe, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans before brushing my fingers through my hair.
It's quiet for a few seconds longer before she starts the car, driving away from the house. I watch it in the sideview mirror, wondering what he's doing at the moment, what he's thinking.
"He's as amazing as I thought he'd be." Faye speaks. "He's accomplished so much, it's incredible."
"Without me or my mum." I say without thinking. I realize I feel jealous of him. He's done great for himself up until now. There's so much that I want to say but I can't find the words at the moment.
It's quiet for the remainder of the ride.
~••~
The gyms silence seems to calm my racing thoughts. Yesterday was full of stories about the man I looked up to my entirely life, the man who is my father. The sun is beginning to rise over the buildings as I finish my routine warm up with the punching bag. I lay myself down onto a mat before crunching, belting a couple punches before I come back down. My phone dings on the bench beside me, Faye's message appearing about an interview on TV. I breathe a short laugh. Me on TV, it sounds absurd.
"You're here early." Rick enters the gym, locking the door behind him.
"Couldn't sleep." I sigh as I stand, taking a gulp of water.
"Want to talk about it?" He asks, approaching me. I look to him, the only man I've known as a father. I remember the day I told him David was my father; he thought I was kidding. He laughed for a few minutes before coming back to me, asking if I was serious. He was shocked then.
"I met David." I tell him.
"Oh," he says. "How was that?"
I shrug. "He seems like a great guy."
"But..."
I take a breath, sitting on the bench. "He left my mum to become this world famous fighter and I grew up without him. I just can't stop thinking about everything we've been through while he was out there, making all of the money we suffered to make." I shake my head. "I can't stop thinking about how my mum must have felt when he left and how much she struggled."
"Harry," he says, taking a seat beside me. "People do stupid things. Especially when there's a great opportunity on the table. He had a choice and he chose wrong but you can't change what happened."
"If only it were that easy." I breathe a laugh and he joins, chuckling as he wraps an arm around me.
"You didn't need him, Harry." He says. "You just needed to believe you and your mother would be alright in the end. Look what you're doing now." He raises a hand. "This is for all of those times you and her suffered to get where you are now. This is the thing you've been waiting for."
