Black Tears

go bullfrogs go!

Lunch is the time to walk around the campus and find a bench to sit on while finishing your homework that's due next period.

I would call myself a procrastinator when it comes to assignments, I guess it's a good thing I'm pretty good at focusing when I only have 20 minutes on the clock to complete. It's the same boring useless information every teenage student has to go through before being considered an adult.

It's unfortunate how I can't experience the world by smoking pot, driving recklessly around parking lots at 2 am, fucking around cause I can without having someone shitting on your parade screaming in my ear of how a disappointment I've become. Ever since the day my mom murdered my father, my grandmother took me in and I'm grateful to have her. Turn's out the world isn't like how the Hollywood films made it to be. I guess I should've expected that considering the experiences I've gone through.

I remember my first time fucking a guy in 9th grade, Joseph Lopez; god that scumbag couldn't even go further than 5 minutes before jizzing and spazzing out. I don't know why these freshman girls write in their diaries for guys like him; hell, some would say I'm lucky to have hooked up with a football player as my first time. The douche only fucked me because of my tight ass, slim waist and perky tits. I knew his intentions from the start, why he was interested in me but honestly, I didn't give a fuck as to why. Sex is sex.

I remember walking into high school the first time scared, young, happy, full, and ready for whatever it is that's about to hit me. It's safe to say that there's a pattern in everyone's years in high school. You lose your best friend and your virginity. You gain a new clique, and a body count.

Then your sophomore year rolls in. Your freshman expertise kicks in and you think you've got the feel for the highschool life. You fail a class and go to your first party. You think you're cooler than your ex-best friend because she's never had a boy see her underwear or that she's never been as drunk as you.

In the 10th grade, Joseph Lopez threw a summer house party which is common in the area I live in. I went since it he had the finest drugs New York can provide. Many people showed up bringing their own shit and bringing others from different schools. It was a house party, with the stereos blasting loud enough where your mind starts to fog up and your legs begin to shake. I recognized a few of my friends who I met through cheerleading. I got along with most of them but a few held a grudge against me knowing I slept with Joseph.

I really couldn't give two shits.

We smoked a few joints and I just laid there in the clouds of marijuana, experiencing the high and lightness of my body.

I got up to take a piss but most of the bathrooms were locked because of the teenage sex drive running through that house. I had no choice but to do it in some bushes in the backyard. I've done it before so it didn't really faze me, plus I was high as shit.

Closing the doors leading to the backyard everything got quieter but the muffled rap music in the background was still audible. Stumbling on my heels I took them off for the sake of comfort. With my white pumps in hand, I walk towards the bushes before finally having that sigh of relief. I remember feeling the soft yet dirty sensation of the wet grass in between my toes. As the moment lingers on, something changed. From that point on I never realized what was happening behind those bushes.

I heard grunts, soft ones. Then a few deep giggles shushing each other. I peered through to see Joseph Lopez on top of a girl who was unconscious in the jacuzzi with two other guys taking videos. She was highly intoxicated by the way she was making little to no movement. He took her in that vulnerable moment to his selfish disgusting advantage. I knew I couldn't do anything. I was scared, deeply horrified.