Who To Trust?

Chapter 16: The whole story

When i woke up, Jordan's heavy body was laying on top of me. Part of me think I woke up from having difficulty breathing. But instead if waking him up to ask him to move. I let him lay on me , I've missed him. These passed few weeks we have been way to distant from each other. But I love him even more for giving me the room to find myself, no questions asked . After a few minuets I think I see his eyes open , but he doesn't say anything so I think that I am maybe seeing things . So I ignore it. And shift under his weight . After my shift this time I am sure that I saw his eyes open .

"Jordan? " I didn't receive an answer so I ask " are you pretending to be sleep?" I see a smile slowly creep across his face . He simply shifted a bit , and kept his eyes close . So I continued . " I mean it's not like you're heavy or anything, and if am having difficulty breathing " I laugh a bit at his childish act . He moves off of me and sits up on the bed, I take in a deep breath.

" I'm not that heavy " he finally says to me .

" yeah right. Why were you pretending to be sleep?" I ask him .

He hesitates , takes a deep breath and says " because I knew that when I woke up id have to return to reality , and I'd rather just stay in bed with you all day . ... Yeah that sounds fun. Let's stay in bed" he says the last part laying back on top of me .

We lay there peaceful for awhile , i start to rub his back slowly .I match my breathing with his breathing and I must have dozed back off because next thing I knew I was back my at house. It was dark, I couldn't see anything . With ever breath I took I say it in the air. I didn't know why it was so cold, but it was. I began to walk further into the darkness, searching around to find anything , at all. I could tell that I was in the living, room because of the figures of the couches . Then I slipped and fell, on something wet. As I touch the floor to feel what I slipped on , it's like the darkness slowly disappears and I can see everything. I can see my dad and Helen on the floor, dead. And what I slipped on were their blood. As I looked around to ask for help, all I see is a reflection of me covered in blood.... At least I thought it was me , but the look on her face didn't match mines, and in her hands ... Was a gun, the gun that killed them .

I wake up in a cold sweat , waking Jordan up along with me . He sits up , and pulls me to his lap . I lay there for awhile until I ask .

" what ever happened to their bodies? My dad and Helen ? "

" they were buried of course ... The murder was blamed on a robbery gone bad ."

When he said that last part it made my skin crawl " can you take me to see them?"

" you know I will. "

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Jordan and Robyn took me to the cemetery where there were buried. No one talked the whole ride there. They showed me the area where they were buried and I told them that I wanted to go alone .

As I stood there , standing over there tombstone , I couldn't help how nice they looked. Nice and big. It glimmered in the sunlight and read the typical beloved husband and father. Mother and wife for Helen. I couldn't help but think , why such terrible people had such beautiful tombstones. So i gathered all the saliva in my mouth and spat on them, on both tombstones. Then I took a deep breath and screamed

" I HATE YOU ! " I screamed this three times " I HATE YOU , I HATE YOU , I HATE YOU!!!!!!?" I saw the flowers so politely put on their graves and I stomped on them . I stomped on the. , picked them up and tore them piece by peace, because they didn't deserve them . I bent down in between them and whispered

" I am the reason you both are dead. This is my fault . And even though I hate myself for it , I always knew that it was either you two ... Or me .... I always thought it would be me . I always thought that one day , dad would just hit me one too many times, and that would be the end. But he didn't . " I began to chuckle a bit , like a crazy person . " nope, you were killed, and it's all my fault ." I lay down on the ground and shut my eyes. Tears slowly began to fall from my eyes .

I feel the presence of someone sitting down beside me , I have no idea how long I have laying there, slowly letting my tears fall to the ground .

" you'd think that you had given them enough of your tears throughout the years huh? " it was Robyn's voice .

I figured it was finally time to get the whole story. Ask the questions that I had been to scared to ask . " Robyn , why didn't mom want me too? Why did she leave me with an Abusive family?"

" sit up ." She told me , but I didn't move . " sit up and look at me " she said in her stern voice, so I did. I sat up wiping my tears along the way and looked into her eyes. Her eyes were intense with offense . " mom loves you , we both do . We never ever stopped looking for you . We followed endless counts of leads. We never stayed at one place long so that we could search for you ... You or dad...." She said staring into my eyes , but I was still so confused .

" but I don't understand .... Why was I lost in the first place ?" I got up to my Knees and grabbed her hand . " please help me understand, I don't get it ... Why was I the one left behind!!!" My voice was desperate for answers , so I was begging her. Not just for answers but to lift this heartache off of me .

" I remember that day vaguely ... Dad came in , he was beat up. He had bruises everywhere , mom was frantic . She kept screaming we had to leave . You weren't home , you were at daycare that day . So dad said he would go get you , while we packed up everything to go . When we went to the place we'd agreed to meet at ... You guys didn't show . We waited there all night... We went back to the same spot for months! " for the first time Robyn's voice sounded just as frantic and desperate as mine. Desperate to. Convince me of their love , she was rambling now " everyone told mom. That you both were dead! But she said she knew you guys weren't !!! That you both alive , she said she knew it in her heart . And I believed her ! Even when she left me ! She left me , because it was dangerous to continue looking for you . So even when everyone but Jordan had left, regardless if she wanted us or not I WANTED YOU . I needed you..." she began to cry with that sentence . " I needed my sister so I continued to look. And regardless of everything Paul has done to is he did do one thing.... He's the reason I found you ....she left me , and I found you! " she let go of my hands to tend to her own tears . She was crying uncontrollably , her words were barely making sense. Her story was everywhere, but somehow I understood her, and had a newfound sadness in my heart for her. For awhile I was so jealous of her. But at least I didn't know what was missing. She had to live with the lost of half of her family every day . Her life was consumed with searching for me .

" can you tell me about her? About mom?"

She slowed her cries , and began to smile a bit.

" mom.... Mom was an amazing women. Absolutely beautiful , and full of grace. But completely deadly. She had long pitch black her, and dark brown eyes. A figure of a 21 year old , women who had never had kids. She never raised her voice. She never had too. She was loving. Oh she was so loving. She'd rub my tummy until I fell asleep, even when she knew I was faking my tummy ache . We would have days that we would stay in All day, getting lost in a t.v show. " she looked me in the eyes. " those were the days we missed you guys so much that we just had to take a break from our lives.... She was perfect, she taught me everything I know... She left about two years ago ... And I have no way to get in touch with her,but she gave me a letter just in case I were to find you before her , I figure this is the perfect time for you to read it . " she reaches into her pocket , and pulled out this wrinkled piece of paper that looks like , she had been carrying it everywhere she went ... It read....

Hey baby girl,

I'm so happy you were found . I knew we would. Don't you ever think that for one second we forgot about you and your daddy, because we never did. I love you so much and when you guys left , my heart went with you . I'm going to be back soon, and when you see me I will have found your father also. stay with your sister, wherever you guys go I will find you. I will always find you somehow.

-love mama

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Hey guys ! Sorry it's been so long , but I'm back to finish !!! I made a few changes with the family history so don't be confused ! Kiesha and Robyn are full blood sisters, Kiesha was adopted !!!! Please like and rate!!!!!!