Disregard the Danger [BBC Sherlock - Johnlock, Warstan & Johnlockary]

Negative space

Mary looks at the flash drive full of Russian files that Mycroft gave her. She should get started on it -- it may not be the most exciting work, but it’s work.

Instead, she thinks about another flash drive, and the fact that she hasn’t heard a peep out of John in the days since Sherlock was discharged.

She wants to spy on him again, but at the same time, she can’t bear to watch.

* * * 

She picks up her phone and types. Read the files, John. Read them so that you understand. Read them, and then talk to me.

It feels satisfying to type. She stares at it, wishing that sending it would do any good -- likely, it would make John dig his heels in deeper. She deletes it.

* * *

She makes herself go for a run. Her body is more strangely shaped now, lumpy and sensitive and still not feeling like her own, but moving feels good.

She tries to pound the frustration and anxiety and negative emotions out of her body and into the pavement. To empty and focus herself. It doesn’t work nearly as well as it used to.

* * *

She types a message to John. Sherlock told you that you could trust me. Listen to him. She deletes it.

* * *

She frets about what Magnussen is up to, about whether he’s likely to visit Sherlock and John again now that they’re back at Baker Street. She wouldn't be surprised if Magnussen decided to reassert his power over them. To do something that would stir the boys' anger and cause them to act rashly and get themselves in more trouble. (God knows, it wouldn't take much.) Or to say something to John about Mary that would make him even slower to forgive her. Knowing she’s not supposed to, she opens up her laptop and attempts to access the camera feeds on Appledore and CAM tower. The password has changed.

A moment later, the Mycroftphone buzzes. Have you forgotten what your current assignment is - and is not? If you do not have enough translation work to do, I can assign more.

Sorry. Old habits.

I assure you, we have your former target under ample surveillance.

She wishes she felt entirely reassured, but Mycroft's goals and priorities are not the same as hers.

Thanks. I’ll work on the files you gave me.

She doesn’t.

* * *

As days pass and become weeks, her body continues to swell -- belly, breasts. She feels tired and hungry and dizzy and irritable.

Though maybe she’s irritable because her husband is ignoring her.

* * *

Don’t be so stubborn, John, she types into her phone without any intent to send it. I know you’re angry at me, but we could straighten all this out quickly if you’d just look at the damn drive.

* * *

Her phone buzzes, and her heart leaps. What if it’s finally John -- responding to all her unsent texts? She scrambles for the phone.

It’s from Sherlock. When did Magnussen first contact you?

The disappointment grips her lungs for a long moment. She wonders what John is doing while Sherlock is texting her. She wonders how he is.