Love & War

Chapter 8

A/N: sorry for the short chapter, again i thought i needed to break up what i had written because it got really long. Enjoy

Elsa and Annabelle had been visiting for a few hours, talking about everything under the sun. The baby, the movie he’s currently working on, when Elsa turned the conversation to Anna.

“So, tell me, what’s wrong? And don’t lie; you know I can see right through you.”

“Why do you think something is wrong?”

“Belle, you looked upset when you and Rob walked in, and I’ve been trying to figure it out.”

“I’m seriously ok, maybe a little anxious about my tour being over, but other than that, I’m ok.”

“Liar! Why won’t you tell me why Chris was so mad this morning?”

“Because I figured you already knew.” When Elsa shook her head, Anna told her everything that happened last night and this morning, including the fact that she was supposed to have lunch with Tom in about an hour. “I’m thinking about canceling and going right to base. I just don’t know what to do, I’m so confused. I feel like my heart hurts and I kind of want to cry. I’m supposed to be stronger than this! I’m afraid of hurting his feelings, because I do like him, he’s such an inspiring person, he’s funny, he’s so easy to talk to, and my god is he gorgeous. What happens if we actually connect and then something happens and, bam, we’re done. I need to text him that I can’t do lunch. I’ll tell him I got called to base or something.” She blurts out as she grabs her phone and starts texting Chris, since she forgot to get Tom’s number.

Before she can send it, Elsa lays her hand on Anna’s phone, “Before you ruin it, why don’t you talk to me first. Maybe we can figure out where this is coming from. I have a kind of personal question for you. Was Steve your last relationship, 8 years ago? Or have you tried dating since then?”

 Anna ponders the question, Have I really only been with one man my entire life? “Yea, he was. If you can really call it that, we worked on the ship together. We were together for 6 months; we did everything together when we had the down time. I haven’t really dated since, no time really.”

“And? What happened with that?”

“I thought I loved him. Then I got into the SEALs  and he got put on a submarine. I know he was mad he didn’t pass the SEALs testing. The day before we were supposed to leave, he told me he wanted nothing more to do with me, ‘but thanks for the fun’.” She replies with a dry laugh.

“Oh honey, why didn’t you tell anyone? If Chris ever met him, he’d beat him up for you,” she chuckles lightly. “But think about what you’re telling me. You’ve only been in one relationship, ever, because firstly, you put work before everything else. And secondly, you don’t want to get hurt again. You can’t let one experience ruin it for your whole life.”

“It isn’t about not wanting to get hurt again; I don’t want to hurt Tom. He’s just getting his career started; I don’t want to somehow bring him down. And what if he falls for me and I get hurt or, god forbid, die. He’d be crushed. I don’t want to do that to another person. That’s my main reason for not doing relationships. I’ve seen how it is with the guys I work with, being away from their spouses. It’s heartbreaking for both parties. What if I die? It’s hard enough, knowing that I’m worrying Chris all the time when I can’t stay in contact for days at a time.”

“He doesn’t always worry, Belle. He knows you’re smart, you’re trained, and he knows you surround yourself with the best team there is. After not hearing from you for a week or so, then he starts to worry. But it’s not constant. And you have sound concerns, but you shouldn’t let your brain overrule your heart. Well, I will leave you alone on the subject, but let me tell you, I think you guys would do well together. So, either, send the text and regret it for the rest of your life, or don’t send it, go to lunch and discover he’s the man of your dreams.” Elsa got up off the couch and headed to the kitchen area, “Do you want a bottle of water while I’m up.”

Anna sat there staring at her phone, waging war against herself. She knew she had some sort of connection with Tom, and really would like to explore that route. But her brain was telling her she needed to severe all ties now, before either of them could get hurt.

She sent the text and regretted it instantly.

“So what do they need you on base for tonight anyway?” Elsa asks as she sat back on the couch and handed her a bottle of water.

“Oh, um, I’m not sure. When I called they asked if I could come in and help them with some stuff.”

“Are you excited for retirement?” she asked with a giggle.

Anna’s face lit up.  “Of course, I can’t wait. I can focus more on Belle’s and I get to actually see my family!” Both girls were laughing when Anna’s phone went off.

 Chris: why do I have to tell him?

Anna:  I don’t have his number and I know you two are together. You always are.

Chris: Fine. Give me a few minutes. I’ll let you know what he says.

Chris: He says he’s going to call you. And if you don’t answer, he’s going to track you down. I told him you were with Elsa. :)

Anna: Thanks for making that easier. :( Good luck to him trying to get on base.

Chris: I’ll help him break in ;)

Anna’s phone rang in her hand before she could respond. She couldn’t bring herself to answer it, regardless if he found her or not.

“Elsa, I’m gonna head out. I have to clean up my house and pack. I love you, and I’m so happy I got to see you!” Anna wraps her in a tight embrace. “I’ll try to say bye to Chris before I go.”

“Bye, Belle. Please take my advice. You never know if it’s gonna last one month or a lifetime, but if you don’t let yourself experience it, you’ll never know. Follow your heart every once and a while.” Anna nods and slips out the door and into an elevator. Just as the elevator doors are closing the elevator next to it opens and she can see Tom and Chris walking down the hall towards the room she just came from. It’s for the best, she thinks to herself.

“Goodbye. Again,” she whispers into the empty elevator.