A Chance Meeting at Walgreens (Malec)

Chapter 13

Hello readers!

More sadness.

That's it.

If you want to be really sad, play the song I put up to go with this. :)

Magnus POV!¡

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I wake to my alarm. The sound drills through my brain like the annoying fire alarms at school.

School.

Today is Monday.

Shit.

I have to see Alec today.

He left here on Friday, so I had to spend all weekend thinking about him. I had locked myself in my room, only to leave for food or use of the bathroom. I have memorized every inch of my ceiling from staring at it for so long. I've cried every tear my body can possibly make. I've eaten enough junk food I'm surprised I haven't gone into a coma. I've rewatched Safe Haven enough to know every line.

Nothing helps.

I even found the sweater Alec wore on Friday on the floor of my room. It's dark blue and white, and obviously used. But it smells like him: starry nights and strong coffee, so I've worn it every minute for the past two days.

Rolling out of bed takes effort, however it's manageable. My alarm has stopped by now, so the house is deadly quiet.

I'm still wearing Alec's sweater, and I'm going to keep wearing it to school today. I know that Alec won't be allowed to talk or even look at me, so maybe this will cause him to break the rules a little bit. I throw on some black jeans and do my hair and makeup. I wouldn't bother today, but I don't want people thinking I turned straight.

Downstairs my uncle is still fast asleep on the couch, so I tiptoe past him to get breakfast. Even in his sleep, Gary looks unhappy.

Twenty minutes later I'm ready and out the door to school. It's not that far of a walk, but it's far enough that my mind can turn to places it shouldn't go. What if Alec starts being plain-out mean? What if he's not even at school? What if the Lightwoods kick me out of Idris?

I shake my head and try to push these thoughts out of it, because Cat is coming up to me with a frown.

"Magnus," she hisses, "What the hell are you wearing?"

I look down at myself. "A sweater and jeans. Are you blind, Cat? Do you need help?" I ask sarcastically.

"That's Alec's sweater! You know you can't wear that to school!"

"Why not?"

Cat gives me an exasperated look. "Well, if I can recognize the sweater, the rest of the school will be able to. I can't believe you would risk him like that!"

I didn't think about that. With a shaky sigh, I pull off the sweater to reveal a plain blue tshirt. "Better?" My eyebrows raise with the question.

She nods, and we're off again on our 'merry' way.

When we get to hell, I remember meeting Alec here for our first date. My heart lurches. God, I miss him.

The first part of the day drags on. My classes are boring; I almost fall asleep in trig. The weekend took a lot out of me. Ragnor and I go to lunch, where I know Alec will be. I always looked forward to this part of the day because we would make eye contact and smile and sometimes that would lead to us meeting in the bathroom and kissing until our next classes.

Today isn't going to be like that, obviously.

I get my lunch: some sort of mystery meat that I'm not going to touch, and sit down with Ragnor at our table. Ours is the one that's away from everybody else's. Over the year, people have gradually scooted away from us.

Ragnor and I don't talk; he eats and I sit in silence, searching for Alec in the throng of hungry, happy teenagers.  How lucky they are, to believe in God and to fall in love without judgement and to have families who love them without exception.  I wish I was naiive enough to be one of them.  How nice it would be to not worry if the person you love may have killed himself, or if your parents will ever come back and say they forgive you.  My coming out was not a good experiance for me or anyone else, but I don't like to think about that.

I'm still remembering dark times filled with angry mothers and pictures that weren't supposed to exist when I see him. (A/N: That was important fyi.)

Alec is sitting with Jace, his girlfriend Clary, and her best friend Simon.  Everything looks completely normal:  Jace & Co. are having what seems to be a very animated conversation that involves the mystery meat, and Alec is focusing on eating his food.  This is what the scene usually looks like.  Alec never really liked to be in the center of attention.  His head is down, his hair sheilding his eyes.  I breathe a sigh of relief.  He's okay. 

But he suddenly looks up at something Simon says, and I realize my inferences were completely wrong.  Alec's eyes are baggy and dark, like he hasn't slept for days.  There's a sadness there that was always sort of present, but seems to be magnified by ten today.  He gives Simon a look, then goes back to his half-eaten sandwich.  The same half-eaten sandwich that was sitting there two minutes ago.  He's not even eating anymore. 

I see Jace give Alec a look of encouragment, and he looks subtly at the sandwich.  My ex-boyfriend- Is he even my ex if we didn't even say goodbye before we stopped seeing other?- eats one, two, three bites of the sandwich, then gulps hard.  He stands up and starts walking fast.  God.

Ragnor has been following my gaze, so he isn't surprised when I get and follow Alec out of the cafeteria.  I make sure to stay a few steps behind him, but that isn't hard since he's almost running.  We wind through the familiar roundabout way to the bathroom in the corner of the school.  My vision has tunneled to the skinny frame of Alec.  His sweater, probably a size small, swallows him up.  His skinny jeans are baggy.  Everything he's wearing is black again.

We reach the bathroom and Alec marches in.  I wait outside, listening.  There's silence as he closes a stall door, then the retching begins.  It's a sickening noise that makes my stomach turn.  He didn't have much to throw up, so my darling dry heaves for his life.  The raspy sounds soon turn into strangled sobs and whimpers.  I had sunk to the floor in my despair at the noises, but I couldn't take it anymore.  Getting to my feet, I start to walk away when I hear something I'd never hear again.

"Magnus?"

I whip around to see Alec staring at me in fear.  His voice is hoarse, and he looks like a ghost.  His shoulders sag like he's given up on life.  His eyes soak me in.  I can feel his gaze penetrating the walls of my soul, and I almost break down.  But for both of our sakes, I can't.

"I'm sorry, darling.  I shouldn't be here."  I had planned to say this calmly, but I comes out frantic and desperate.  "Please, forget I was even here.  I'm sorry.  I love you."  Then I turn and run, not caring who's behind me.  I can swear I can hear him say he loves me too, but I tell myself not to get my hopes up. 

The doors swing open, their squeaky metal hinges screaming from my brute force.  The Spot is now a river full of my sadness and despair.

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ladadadadadada wow

sad af

hahahhahahahhaha

i'm so evil sorry

also i need dare recommendations because two of my favorite youtubers are taking requests on snapchat tomorrow and i need to get on their video ughahdkha so SUGGEST DARES TO GIVE THEM PLZZZZZ

the song is party song by keaton henson

just thought it'd add to the mood ya know?

that one repeating line is "damn, I love you"

vote, comment enjoy!