stutter » a. irwin

chapter 25. recovering

❀ J U L I A ❀

My phone was ringing, just like it had been for the past two weeks. And of course, it was always the same two people calling; Ashton and Calum.

Ashton had called me several times in a row the day after our fight, but upon seeing his contact pop up on my screen, an irrefutable anger overcame me and I blocked his number with a furious jab of my finger.

Then, Calum's calls came. I couldn't bring myself to block his number because he hadn't done anything wrong other than leave me alone with Ashton, but I also couldn't bring myself to answer them because I knew Ashton had most likely put him up to it.

So, my phone just sat there on the table, blasting the annoying Marimba ringtone that came with all iPhones. I stared at it as it lit up, wondering if today was the day I would finally answer.

My hand reached for the phone.

"Julia!" I snapped my hand away as Rachel's head appeared in the doorway. "After that phone call with Mel, I was thinking that we should visit your family today."

Her voice was filled with excitement and she was nearly bouncing; I knew it was because of her weakness for my little brother. My family was almost her own considering she hadn't seen her parents in years. With that thought,I realized I hadn't spoken to my family all summer, and cursed myself for being the worst daughter in the world.

"Definitely," I nodded, giving her a smile. "There's just something I have to do first."

My phone lit up again, emitting the painfully annoying Marimba. Rachel looked at it curiously but nodded her head before leaving the room. I hadn't told her about the calls because knowing her, she would probably answer the calls herself and start cursing at Ashton. I loved Rachel, but I needed to handle things my own way.

I reached for the phone and answered the call.

"-Don't you think I'm trying, you asshole? She's never going to pick up because of what you did."

"Don't you think I fucking know that?" A distant, yet very familiar voice replied. My heart clenched at the sound and I started to think that picking up the phone had been a very big mistake. His words lacked venom and instead sounded very, very tired. "God, Cal. I know I'm a fucking idiot; I know I screwed up what was probably the best thing in my life since the band and I'm sorry, okay?"

"You don't have to say sorry to me." Calum's voice was less harsh than before, but still hard as ice. I felt like I was listening in on a conversation I wasn't supposed to, but I couldn't bring myself to hang up. "I screwed up before, and I'm still living with it. I just don't want you to- wait, Julia?"

I chewed my lip nervously, feeling my hands become slick on the phone.

"Hello, Julia?" Calum repeated again. I could hear Ashton's voice in the background and my stomach churned. I felt like throwing up.

"Did she pick up? Julia? Julia, god, I'm so sorr-"

"If she picked up my call, it's not because she wanted to talk to you." Calum said, effectively silencing the other boy.

There were muffled voices, and then I heard footsteps as the background noise disappeared.

"Julia?" Calum asked again, quieter. "You can talk now, I'm away from Ashton. Actually, I locked myself in the tour bus bathroom."

I let out a silent laugh, imagining Calum crammed into a tiny bathroom with his phone cradled to his ear.

"Hi." My voice cracked and I could feel the tears behind my eyelids, threatening to spill out.