Short Stories/One Shots

2. Red Light

Dream,

We haven't spoken in a while. I long to know you're doing okay.

I got my drivers licence yesterday. Do you remember how excited you were when I was doing my lessons? You spoke of the late night trips to McDonalds, driving down the country lanes with your head hanging out the window like I used to do in your car, me finally driving up to your house.

I drove past for the first time today actually, crying cause you weren't around. It's silly right? To still mourn my loss of you while you're with him. I always doubted you when you told me he wouldn't become more important than me. He's older than me, more mature than me, he gave you things I could never. He's everything I could possibly be insecure about and sadly I have you to thank for that. Sometimes I drive down those country lanes, thinking of how I could ever love anyone other than you?

I wasn't perfect, far from it. I got on your nerves at least a few times a day, I made your eyes screw up in anger but also with laughter. I was the reason your fist went through the wall outside your room, but I was the one who patched up the wounds. I know it wasn't just me that wasn't perfect, but that it was us.

Did you ever fix the hole? You promised me you would. 

Can I ask how you're so okay now that I'm gone? I see you posting pictures of him smiling. Does he make you happier than I did? You hold him just like you held me, only he's slightly smaller so I guess it's easier for you to rest your head on his. Do your bodies slot together like lock and key while you cuddle like I believed ours did? Do you sing him to sleep? Do you pull him onto your lap while you play Minecraft like you used to do with me? You told me you did that because you couldn't bear not having my touch for even a second. 

I guess you never meant those things.

Dream you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.

Karl and Quackity are getting tired of hearing me talk about how much I miss you, but that's okay. I'd lose everyone to be able to talk about the freckles that dot across the bridge of your nose, the way you throw your head back and your hair shakes with the pure ecstatic vibration of your laughter. They'll never know you the way I do, does he? 

I'm still driving but picturing I'm driving home to you. 

Sometimes I watch your videos. You used to say "me and my friends coded it" but now you say "me and George coded it." I wonder if I was always just a friend. Those tender kisses and those passion filled nights, is that what friends do? I wish I could say yes, which would mean he's just a friend too, but it would also mean that so was I. Remember, although me and him bickered he was my friend also. I didn't just lose you, I lost you both.

I'll say it again. I know we weren't perfect. I saw that when you met him for the first time, your attention was taken so suddenly and you were easy to let me go. I was jealous and I lashed out at you because of it. At least I know I wasn't crazy right? I had a reason to be jealous. I wish you could hear me laughing right now at the ridiculousness of the situation we got ourselves into. 

Red lights and stop signs. I can see your face in the white car in front of me and the front yard outside my window. I can't bring myself to drive past any of the places you used to take me.

I still fucking love you Dream.

I'm parked temporarily at a sidewalk we crossed, when we went to see the avengers at the cinema. I can hear your voice over the traffic and the radio, laughing at me putting my feet up on your dash. Over all this noise I can still hear you. 

God, Dream, I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. I know we're over but I still fucking love you. You said forever and now I drove alone past your street.

I guess I'll take the bus from now on. 

Yours forever,

Sap.

Seen: 1:47AM