SELCOUTH - P. PEVENSIE (1)

VI. Mamihlapinatapai

Mamihlapinatapai - the wordless look between two people who both desire something, yet are equally reluctant to initiate.

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The ride to Aslan's camp was a very short one. Lilith almost fell asleep on the centaur's back, finally relaxed for the first time since they had gotten here. Her legs and arms were incredibly sore, though that was mostly from the scrapes that had happened when she was dragged through a bush on their way out. The centaur had apologized immediately, and had offered her a ride on his back as repayment for her injuries. Being that she hadn't walked in many days and was both physically and mentally exhausted, she accepted the offer without a second thought.

As soon as the camp was visible, Aslan appeared in front of them. He asked that Edmund come with Him, reassuring Lilith that he would be back. Lilith nodded and got off of the centaur, almost sure she could walk the rest of the way. Her mind was empty but for thoughts of the Pevensies as she saw them at the edge of camp. They all looked healthy and happy, wearing fancy clothes fit for royalty. They were royalty, something Lilith had forgotten completely.

Lucy was the first to break away from the group, sprinting towards Lilith and yelling her name. The amount of relief she was feeling brought Lilith to her knees, the perfect height for the little girl to attack her at. She wrapped her arms tightly around her, saying her name over and over again in a whisper. Susan followed close behind, practically picking Lilith up as soon as she reached her. Lucy only sort of let go, still holding the side of her dress in a small hand. Susan was laughing and crying a little, making Lilith cry more than she already was. She pulled back because she didn't want to get Susan's pretty dress dirty, even though it was a bit too late for that. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Peter.

"Hey," she rasped out over Susan's shoulder, trying for a smile but only managing to make her lip bleed again. She raised her hand to her mouth and backed further away from Susan, really not wanting to get blood on her dress. Lilith's own dress was already dirty and torn, though there were no sleeves to wipe her mouth with.

"Here," Peter came over with a handkerchief, holding it up to her lip. Lilith put her hand over his as he dabbed at it before handing it to her. "Are you alright?"

"No, not really." It felt good to be honest, even if that honesty was about her pain.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking. Lilith reached her free hand up, dirty and scratched as it was, and said, "This is not your fault."

His voice only cracked more. "I drove you away. You got caught because I was rude."

"I got caught because I thought it a good idea to wander around a forest alone. True, you did make me want to, but I still chose to, Peter. It was my decision and my decision alone."

"Then I'm sorry for making you want to go. I didn't mean it, I was just already upset and wanted to go back. This was not what I intended to do at the professor's 'safe' house. I just...I don't know what to say except for sorry."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself right up to him. His arms wrapped around her waist, his head tucking into the space between her shoulder and neck.

"I missed you," she whispered into his shoulder. Her fingers played with the hair at the base of his head, not knowing what else to do. He sighed and shook a little. He must have been crying. "Don't cry!"

"Sorry," he laughed through the tears, moving one hand to wipe them away before they fell onto her.

"Don't be sorry, either! Oh, Peter," She pulled back, smiling up at him. "I just don't want you to feel bad for my capture." He smiled back before seeing her arms. His face dropped as he grabbed them, running his fingers over the cuts.