SELCOUTH - P. PEVENSIE (1)

VII. Forelsket

Forelsket - the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.

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The day had gone by quickly, with Lilith doing more sword fighting and even a little knife throwing. She hadn't been as good at the latter than the former, but she was alright. Peter had given her much praise throughout the time they were fighting, as Susan and Lucy had during target practice. Edmund had been present during practice, but he was substantially better than Lilith at most things, and didn't need as much time to get the movements down as she did. They had all retired to bed pretty early, and though Lilith was tired, her brain was going too fast for her to sleep. Instead she went outside of the tent and sat on the ground, humming the lullaby she had sung Lucy to herself.

"Is that you, Lilith?"

"Peter?" She was surprised he was still awake, and wandering the camp as well. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question," he said as he sat down next to her. He smiled and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in close. "I couldn't sleep."

She sighed. "Me either. I think today has been too exciting for my brain to slow down, and now it doesn't want to."

"Sword fighting is pretty exciting, especially when it's with me." He dropped a wink at her, to which she grinned. She had noticed that the music he had made her hear before had taken on a new sound. It was still just as beautiful, but now it sounded almost...sad. There must have been something wrong with how Lilith interpreted it, for she was happier than ever when she was with Peter.

Forelsket: the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love. That was what it was, she was sure of it. Maybe the music wasn't more sad, it just made her want to cry. Whether or not that was because she was happy was more the question. Was Peter feeling the same thing?

"You know, I missed you too." he said finally, looking up at the stars. She put her head down on his shoulder. "Every hour you and Ed were gone my mood worsened. I feel bad for Susan, Lucy and the beavers. They had to put up with me the whole time. I think I threatened to make Beaver into a hat at one point."

Lilith laughed. "The whole time we rode on Jadis' sleigh, I thought of what I would say to you all when I saw you again. I'm sorry usually topped the list, but then I realized there were much more important things to say than an apology. For instance, I missed you rose in importance as I thought of you all seeing us again. The biggest thing that kept me going the whole time was the idea that you wouldn't leave us to rot with her."

"I had hoped I would be the one to get you and Ed out, but I was just as happy when I saw you walking up to us with the centaur. Even with all the dirt and scrapes you had all over you I couldn't look away. And when I saw the cuts..." He shivered, remembering his anger. "I wanted to hurt her for hurting you. Ed explained it was because you spoke back to her, and his injuries were because of that too. I hated her even more for hurting my brother and you, all because you have a runaway tongue. I don't blame you, and I would do the same thing, but I couldn't even imagine what you went through. I said it earlier, and I'll say it again: you're so strong, Lilith."

"I appreciate you." she whispered in response, tucking in closer. "I would be mad at me if I got my own brother hurt. I can't believe you can even look at me after he told you that. I wouldn't."

"Of course I can! Lilith, it was her who hurt him, not you. And anyway, I saw how much she injured you as well, and I knew Edmund's wounds didn't compare to yours. Did Lucy heal them?"

Lilith shook her head. "I wouldn't let her. There's this word, cicatrize. It means 'to find healing by the process of forming scars'. These scars are a part of my journey to get back to you, and I hope one day I'll be able to look at them without seeing only bad."

Peter slowly moved his arm from around her and took her hands in his, bringing them to his lips. "I think you're beautiful no matter what."

She sucked in a breath, leaning her forehead against his. She let her eyes close, listening to their soft breathing. A quietly hummed tune found its way from Peter to Lilith, making her smile. It was the song she had sung to Lucy, the one she had been humming when he had come over to her. She had never learned the name, only the lyrics.

"You never fail to surprise me, Peter Pevensie," she whispered, leaning further forward. Their lips bet briefly before she pulled away, afraid she had gone too far. He didn't let her get far, though, as he pushed them back together again. It was her first kiss, and though the circumstances weren't what she imagined, it was perfect all the same. It was soft, and light, and golden. Just like Peter.

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They had gone back into their separate tents some time in the next hour, and Lilith had actually managed to get some sleep. She was woken by Peter, who looked very stressed.

"Aslan's gone. Susan and Lucy saw him sacrifice himself so Edmund wouldn't die. Lilith, I have to lead the army."

Her brain was going a million miles a minute. She took Peter in her arms, rubbing circles on his back as he clutched at the back of her dress. "We'll figure it out. Let me get dressed, then I'll come find you and Ed and we can sort this out. Okay?"

He took in a deep, shaky breath. "Okay. Yes, that sounds good. How long until you're ready?" She laughed, threading her fingers through his hair gently.

"Probably two minutes. Do you want to wait outside?" He nodded vigorously. She laughed again, pulling back to look at him. "We'll figure it out, I promise." She gave him a small kiss before shoving him off of the bed teasingly. "Now get out so I can change."

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"We have the numbers, sire,"

They had been talking about the battle for over an hour, along with the centaur who had saved Lilith. He was the best at battle strategy, and he had offered much good advice since the beginning of the conversation. Lilith had decided not to have too much to say on this, really only there to keep Peter from bursting out at everyone else. She had kept her promise; they were going to figure it out together.

"Yes, but I don't want to sacrifice any innocent people because I'm inexperienced."

"Peter, if they're here it's because they're willing to be sacrificed. They're here to fight in a war, and there's always casualties in war," Lilith's input was taken into account greatly when she did say things, because it was only when she had enough knowledge to have an opinion that she said it. Peter nodded now, squeezing her hand.

"She's right, sire," the centaur, Oreius, said, giving Lilith an appreciative nod. "They're here to fight, not sit around until we get a sign from Aslan."

"He believed in you, Peter," Edmund said. "I believe in you.

Lilith nodded. "As do I. It's not like you're doing this alone, anyway. You have a whole army ready to fight with you. You have Edmund. You have Oreius. You have me." Peter smiled at her gratefully.

"Then tell everyone to prepare as best they can. We're going into battle."

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i know, it's a short ass chapter. forgive me. 

but like we got kisses finally so yay! (i hope yay)

finally finished school for the week. thank aslan. hopefully i'll get lots of writing done in the next few days. also, thank you for over 60 reads! i hope you're all enjoying it so far :)

i hope you have a great day/evening!

- cecily <3