He pulls into the driveway at about 4am, grateful that all the lights are off. He hasn't heard from her, so he has to assume she doesn't know yet. He drops his suitcase in the entryway and kicks his shoes off, making his way to their room, trying not to wake the kids. The dog barks and he cringes, kneeling for a minute to calm him.
He stands in the doorway of their bedroom for a minute, watching her sleep. Should he wake her? Crawl in next to her and talk when she woke up? The idea of laying in bed with her made him uneasy.
"Lindsey?"
"Hey," he says, approaching the bed and sitting on the edge.
"What's going on? Is everything okay?" She sits up, holding out her arms to hug him. He kisses her cheek and then releases her, studying her dimly lit face.
"I uh... well, not really."
"What's going on?"
"There's no easy way to tell you this, Kit. I just thought it would be better if you heard it from me."
"You're scaring me."
"I've been seeing Stevie."
"Seeing her."
"Yes."
"And by that you mean fucking her."
"We've been spending nights together, yes."
"And you flew across the country and woke me up at 4am to tell me this right now... why?"
"There are pictures. I don't know who took them, but they're online."
"Pictures. Of the two of you having sex?"
"Oh God, no, we're dressed. But they don't look good."
"Let me see them."
"Come on, Kristen. You don't want to see them."
"Lindsey, I'm going to see them anyway. Show them to me."
He reluctantly pulls out his phone and shows them to her. He watches her unsuccessfully try to fight back tears, his stomach twisting itself into knots. She didn't deserve this. She hands the phone back to him and looks at him, clearly searching for words. "I'm so sorry," he says, surprised by how deeply he means it.
"Shut up." He complies, saying nothing else while she composes herself. The silence was somewhat terrifying. "I tried so hard to pretend we were okay."
"We were okay, Kristen. I -"
"Shut UP! You don't get to talk yet. I tried so hard to pretend that our family, that this life we have could be enough. That it could overrule any feelings you have for her. But it isn't enough. You've never wanted me like that." She pauses for a minute, and he stays silent, afraid to speak now. "I'm not a moron, Lindsey. I've seen the way you've looked at her over the past couple years. It's different now. But you used to at least pretend that you loved me. You used to let me believe that I was all you needed."
"Can I talk now?" She nods. "I never meant for this to happen. You need to know that for all of the rumors and all of the banter, she and I haven't been together since before Will was born."
"What changed? Why now? After seventeen years and three kids and everything we've been through, what suddenly made her so fucking irresistible?"
"The thought of her being alone just wrecks me. As we get older, I just can't imagine us not being old together."
"Wait, you feel sorry for her?"
"No, not like that. I just assumed that she'd find someone after you and I got married, but she didn't. I love her Kristen. I spent years wishing that I didn't and I tried to ignore it for the sake of our marriage. But..."
"You never stopped loving her."
"No, I didn't."
She nods, wiping tears with the back of her hand. "I guess I always knew that. I just never thought you were a big enough asshole to actually cheat on me."
"You know it's not like that. It only happened two weeks ago, and..."
"Just stop talking. I don't need to hear any more of this." He tries to take her hand, hoping to offer some sort of comfort but she yanks it away. "So these photos. I'm going to see them everywhere?"
"More than likely. There isn't much we can do about it now."
"And you're done with the U.S. leg of this tour in April?"
"Yes. We'll be back for about six weeks."
"I'll be gone by then."
"That's it? We're not going to talk about this?"
"Lindsey, I know you'll be there for the kids. I'm not going to screw you over. But I'm not going to stay with a man who is in love with someone else. You can't expect me to do that."
"I don't."
"Okay, then. Just leave, please. Go to Montreal."
"Kristen..."
"Lindsey, I'm humiliated enough. I don't want you here for this. I'm not going to say anything to the kids until you're back."
He nods, understanding that he's in no position to argue right now. He stands and starts toward the door, then pauses and looks back at her. "I'm really sorry, Kristen. It shouldn't have gone like this."
"No, it shouldn't have." She turns her back to him, signaling that she's done.
He heads back to the plane, knowing that he'll have a lot to deal with when he lands.
