Child of Fire

A Way Back

"You're staring."

The observation was made lightly, a hint of amusement and none of censure colored Saint's voice.

Nobody should blame him for not catching on fast. Saint was just too good at making him think he's not blind. Zee dropped his gaze for a brief second before he told himself, So what? It's not against the law.

"It's not against the law, Phi, but you didn't answer my question," Saint replied looking like he was fighting a grin. He sat on the couch that came with the private hospital room that Zee was admitted to. Saint had his back against the couch, legs slightly spread and hands resting comfortably on his sides. He looked like he belonged on the couch but Zee would rather Saint looked like he belonged to him.

"Ah, sorry, what?" Zee asked, his cheeks felt like they were on fire. For a moment, he's glad Saint can't see his embarrassment.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed, P'Zee." Zee wonders sometimes if Saint can read minds because he seems to be having no problems reading his. "I know people can't help but stare and wonder if I'm really blind or not. Did you know that there are six categories of visual impairment? You can be legally blind but still be able to see. They just have a constricted visual field. Most blind people still have light perception. Only a small percentage have total blindness."

"That wasn't why I was staring." The honest words spill out before Zee could stop them.

"Oh?" Saint cocked his head to the side, eyes squinting as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. He looked adorable. "Why?"

Hmm... why, indeed.

Why was Zee staring at Saint? Why was Zee drinking Saint with his eyes like a man who has been traveling the desert for weeks and coming across a lush green oasis?

Because you're beautiful.

Because looking at you makes me happy.

Because I miss you.

Because I want you.

Because if I close my eyes, I'm afraid you'll disappear again.

"You look fatter."

"What?!"

Opps! He didn't mean to say that. He just didn't want to be painfully obvious like he already is.

"I'm fat?" Saint's eyebrows met in the middle like they were about to have a showdown. He leaned forward on the couch, looking like he was a step away from exploding. And Zee just thought, Oh good! This is better. You are much closer now than before.

"I said fatter, not fat," Zee helpfully pointed out, eyes wide with feigned innocence, aware of the grave he was digging. He'd gladly shovel six feet deeper to see the growing fire in Saint's eyes and the blossoming red on his neck and cheeks.

"So, you're saying, I was fat before and now I'm even... fatter?" Saint whispered the last word like it was a blasphemy as he stalked towards Zee's hospital bed.

Zee caught Saint's wrist before his thighs hit the side of the hospital bed and grinned unrepentantly. "Maybe," he said playfully, even though they both know it's not true. Even though they both looked thinner than they were back in college. Even though the stress of their separation took a toll on them not just emotionally and mentally but also physically.

"Well, you look awful," Saint looked down on Zee as he cheerfully insulted him.

"How would you know?" Zee put as much challenge in his voice as he did in the face that he gave Saint, never mind that Saint couldn't see it.