A Ray of Light (Nagito x Izuru fanfiction)

Chapter 6: Abuse

Warnings: Verbal and physical abuse, ... blood? and hmmm... I don't know... just if you think you shouldn't then don't read it...

________________________________________________________________________________

Walking in the house, running, laughing. I bumped into someone, long legs, I fell back. The person turned around, a man, tidy clothes, I laughed. I stood up again, he leaned toward me, stoke my hair gently. I smiled. He said something, not sure what exactly, I nodded. 

I left and went in the garden. Sitting there at a table, reading a book, a woman, pretty. When she saw me, she smiled brightly, dropped her book calmly on the table, as I ran to her. I jumped on her lap, hugged her, she hugged me back. Stroked my hair slowly, said something again, I didn't get it.

///

Play with the maid, in my room. We called for me, I ran down the stairs, the woman and the man, waiting for me. They're hiding something in their back. They said something. I'm curious, kind of excited. They let me pass, a box behind them. Cautiously open it. A ball of fur. It moved. A puppy. I jumped, so happy, looked at them, they smiled brightly, nodded. I took it in my arms. I'm happy. They're happy for me too, even though I can't see their faces clearly. My parents.

///

I'm crying. The puppy is dead. He died in front of me. It's my fault. Should have watched him better. There's blood on the white fur. The car is stopped just in front. My parents talked with someone, a person in the car. I stayed there, staring. I touched. Becoming colder. My hands are sticky now. My parents come back to me, I stopped crying. They gently told me something, I didn't hear it. My father took me in his arms, I let him be.

///

Playing in the garden, the maid taking care of the roses, the butler join us. He went to the maid, whispered in her ear. They looked at me. Pity in their eyes. 

///

Raining. Flowers in my arms. Black roses. There was some in the garden. I put them on the big rock. A grave. When they died, I didn't believe it. They couldn't be dead, right? Then I cried, a lot. But now, I can't cry anymore. In front of the grave, raining, a lot of people in black around me, the maid holding a umbrella, and I can't cry. I just stare. 

///

In the car, watching outside. I don't know where we're going. I see a plane in the sky. I hate planes.

///

The maid left me at a house, smaller than ours. I never went there. A man opened the door to me. He doesn't seem happy to see me. 

///

.

.

.

-What the hell are you still doing here! Get the sh*t out! 

He punched me in the face, then grabbed me by the shirt, lifting me up. I put my hands  to his, struggling a little. Hard to breathe. He blowed a drunken breathe in my face. He had gotten drunk again, with the other people in the living room, playing some game. He opened the side door, and threw me outside. I fell backward, in the pile of garbage bags that he was too lazy too put in front of the house. I gasped, my back hitting something blunt. He then burst out laughing.

-You useless brat! Stay with the trash. You must feel at home, you piece of garbage.

He grinned, then went back inside, shutting the door strongly. We could hear the voices inside.

-Haha, you got rid of the brat?

-Yeah, the abortion's gonna stay there for a while. I wish I could just get rid of it for good...

-Maybe if you let him to die outside, then hide the body...

-I won't risk staying the rest of my life in jail for that thing.

-He's so weird, like why is his hair white like that? He's already becoming an old man!

I sat down, slowly. It hurt everywhere. I moved my leg before flinching. Blood running down my shin. Dripping. It's hot. I put a hand to my face, where he hit me right before. Still sting. I looked to the sky. Maybe I deserve it. I was too spoiled before. It's all my fault. 

I'm trash after all... right?

Trash... Worthless. Piece of garbage...

...

Even though, I still hope something better will come soon. Because we shouldn't lose hope, right? If I have hope, something better will come. I just have to keep hoping. It's all I have left. 

///

Blood. A lot. In front of me. My uncle, laying in a puddle of blood. Splattered everywhere on the walls. Not moving anymore. His body twisted in a weird way. 

And then I laughed.

He died. The old man died! His "friends" ran away after seeing he was dead. They probably got into an argument or something. And it ended up like this. 

That was good luck. After all that happened, all my bad luck, something good had to happen. And that means that good luck will keep on coming. 

I knew I could trust hope.

Haha. Hahahahahahaha-

And I woke up, covered in sweat. I sighed. I thought with all the things we did yesterday, I would be to happy or just too tired to think about this and be stuck in that dream again... I guess it doesn't work like that. I brought a hand to my face. Tears had ran down my cheeks again while I was sleeping. I shook my head, then slowly stood up, careful not to wake anybody. I made my way to the sliding door, and opened it silently. I'll take some fresh air. As I closed the door, I saw a figure sitting not far from here, on the shore. 

Izuru-chan? Why isn't he sleeping? Like if he sensed my presence at that moment, he turned his head my way. He recognised me. He stayed a little staring at me, like to invite me. I hesitated, but felt myself drawn to him. I advanced, the sand crunching under my bare foots. I stayed standing next to him a little, then sat down.

He kept on looking at the waves, and I did the same. It felt relaxing. I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze hitting gently my face, strands of hair fluttering in the wind. I felt kind of unsteady, like if the waves would wash me away. Dizzy, but not necessarily in a bad way. My head kind of fell on Izuru's shoulder. I opened my eyes, swiftly, and started to lift my head, watching Izuru's face. He had turned his head toward me. Just as I was about to say sorry, he turned back to look at the sea, gently grabbed the back of my neck and put my head back on his shoulder. I stayed frozen for a moment. H-He's...

I felt... safe. I half-closed my eyes. All we could hear was the waves, the wind and our breathing. I think I let out a tear at that moment. Just because... I just felt bad, but good at the same time. But he didn't notice, or just didn't mind. 

I took a deep breathe, then another, then another. And I'll continue doing so, more and more.

Yes... Hmmm... I really like that chapter. Like... yeah.

Sorry I'm really bad with the warnings...