Decisions Matter (Saiouma)

28

The song above is quite relaxing listen if you want to.
Warning ⚠️ contains suicidal thoughts, suicide, and hallucinations ⚠️

Kokichi's P.O.V

    "I'll go first to tell Ouma-kun to shut the fuck up." Harukawa-Chan says, I felt like slapping myself right here, right now. 'Of course I can't get the ultimate assassin to say anything about her motive.' I thought. She got up and walked away with Kaito of course. Silence fell into the air, Shuichi turned to me. He looked worried.
  "Ouma-kun? No wait. Kokichi, are you alright?" Shuichi asked.
"Yes! Of course I'm fine. Nishishi~" I say, I was actually feeling fine. Besides feeling a bit shaken up everything was okay. It was weird feeling okay after watching my motive video especially after watching my motive video. I sat down on the grass and patted the grass down next to me, signaling Shuichi to sit next to me. He slowly bent down and sat on his legs.
"You sure? Earlier it seemed like you weren't doing so well, you're eyes were really red and don't seem to be sleeping well either." The detective pointed out.  'This is one time when I want you to be dense Shumai' I stayed silent, not answering his question at all. Shuichi nodded.
"If you ever need me I'm here you know.."

I once again ignored him, I was excepting him to leave. But he was still there. The silence was very comfortable. I felt free when I wasn't in my room. Minutes later, Shuichi got up and said Goodbye.
  "Maybe I'll see you later?" He asked.

            "Maaaaybeeee~"

I heard the soft sound of grass crumpling under Shuichi's weight as he left. I wanted to be free forever. I want to be free. I want to go away. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired. It's not like I'll survive anyways.

S u i c i d e

As if on autopilot I stood up and started walking to his room. Pills were already under his bed so I could just overdose. As soon as I stepped into my room everything got worse. The hallucinations were surrounding me already. My brother.My family. Gonta. Miu. It's all my fault.  I've killed the all. I won't be able to survive and even if I get out. Nothing will change. I'll be a piece of shit with blood on my hands. I CANT WASH THE BLOOD OFF. IM STAINED. ITS ALWAYS THERE. I slowly opened the door to my bathroom. A cabinet with pills in it awaited me. Blood started coming out from the corners of the ceiling. Everything was getting less clear due to the tears. The voices WoNt STOP. I'm shaking as I open the cabinet and take out the pills.

You killed us
The hallucinations would say
Do it
Do it
Do
It
Do
It
DO IT
DO
IT
D O. I T

I didn't notice that I had already taken the pills, I was focused on the voices. Trying to take more nonexistent pills I started choking. Everything became loud.

Before silence.

Hallucination blood on the floor

I was calm

Happy

The end

Kokichi is dead

___________________________
Hey wait! Before you leave because of this terrible ENDING I just wanted to say that if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. Please talk to someone. Preferably someone you trust or professional help.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

800- 273-8255

Please keep living! You matter and if anyone tells you otherwise they might as well be assholes.