Chapter 11 - The love I feel, the things I fear

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How had her life taken this turn? How had her life become the same as that of the princess in her favourite story? Sigyn understood Ysolde's suffering now better than ever, often wondering if Tristan was to Ysolde what Loki was to her.
Her lover completely took over Sigyn's heart, mind, and body. Whenever she was apart from him, she felt like a piece of herself was missing. And whenever they were near but forced to stay their yearning because others were present, the pendant around her neck — appearing to all as the rose Thor had given her — became her way of secretly communicating with Loki.
Sigyn would softly touch the jewel with the tip of her fingers, knowing Loki would sense her love for him. From across the room, she would then steal a glance and see his icy eyes glisten. Whenever her lover did the same with the pendant hidden underneath his clothing, he let her sense more than his love for her. It took every ounce of self-control she had not to let him take her then and there.

But stolen glances and a fleeting brush were all Sigyn and Loki dared to risk when they were out in the world where Heimdall could spot them at any moment. And, of course, Odin and Frigga also had their spies. Only at the Urdarbrunn was it truly safe for them to be together.
Since Sigyn found another way in, there was no need to find an excuse to go out riding and then climb that dreadful mountain. Her ability to mirror-scape decreased the chances of Heimdall seeing a pattern to their escapades as well, allowing them to meet as often as they could. 

Sometimes, they went to the glen so Loki could observe and train Sigyn's magic. She had already learned to conjure a doppelgänger by herself — which Loki and Sigyn both continued to use, so their absence went unnoticed in the palace — but Loki believed she was capable of so much more, as became apparent from further studying the texts in Bor's tome, now hidden at the Urdarbrunn in a crevice under the tree. 
Though reluctant at first out of fear she might hurt him, Sigyn eventually allowed Loki to become her teacher. His patience and confidence in her made Sigyn believe she actually stood a chance of controlling this wild, fiery spirit buried within her. 

Sometimes, they would just talk. Loki would speak of his childhood and all the mischief he had played, making Sigyn laugh. Her favourite story was probably how he'd scared Thor when they were eight by turning himself into a snake and then transforming back when his older brother picked him up. Sigyn had reprimanded Loki when he admitted to having stabbed Thor as well, but her own brothers had done far worse to each other. And to her. 
It took some time before Sigyn revealed the truth about her home. The truth that her mother had covered up with layer upon layer of deception. Growing up in her little room, high in a tower, locked away because she was born a daughter and not a son. Always suffering abuse at the hands of her brothers, even the two youngest whom Sigyn herself had raised. No kind words of love or comforting hugs, no friends to call her own, except for Astrid.
Only when a young noble had observed Sigyn at her window one day, promptly asking for her hand as he'd been bewildered by her beauty, had her parents understood she might prove useful to them. Her lessons intensified, and she was allowed basic training with her brothers — mainly archery — all with the intention of handing her to the man with the best prospects. She doubted her mother would bear the scandal at finding who was in her daughter's bed.

For that was what they did almost every night. They simply couldn't get enough of each other. Sigyn enjoyed the way Loki kissed her; sometimes gentle, sometimes rough, but always with passion. She enjoyed the way his hands trailed her body, making her shudder at his cool touch. She enjoyed the way he felt inside of her when he drove her to overpowering ecstasy. But most of all, Sigyn enjoyed falling asleep in his arms, head resting on his shoulder, and one hand right above his heart. It was then she felt safe. Wanted. Loved.

***

How had his life taken this turn? How had he, Loki, the Trickster, the God of Mischief, allowed this to happen? The plan had been so simple — seduce Thor's betrothed, then reveal their affair before all of Asgard. And if he could make her his ally in magic, he would've considered it a bonus. It was never supposed to mean anything to him. Yet Loki's grand scheme to shame his brother had gone all wrong. And all because of the woman he had taken to his bed. 

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