Chapter 16

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~FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO~

What has he done? Oh god, what has he done?

His hands are still trembling as they approach the ramshackle barn that John Laurens had mentioned and brought them to. Lin cannot fathom that they're walking with John Laurens. Lin keeps his hands hastily shoved into his coat pockets and hopes people assume his trembling frame is from the cold and not from the anxiety attack he thinks he may be experiencing.

Lin has murdered a man. He doesn't even know his name or if he has a family waiting for him to return home after the war. Did he monumentally mess up history by killing a person? Was that person even supposed to die tonight?

"Wait here as I scope the premises," Laurens orders in a quiet voice, stopping them from getting too close to the barn. Hamilton moves to follow him but halts when Laurens gives him a sharp look.

They wait while Laurens walks around and inside the barn. Lin shivers, curling into himself as he stares vacantly at nothing in particular. He might be watching a tree but his mind is elsewhere, drifting back to the moment when Hamilton gave them their weapons and briefly showed them how to use them as a commander would. He is sucked into that moment when the blade in his hand enters that Ranger's back, feeling his spine crack as he looks at Pippa to be certain she is okay.

Lin flickers his gaze to her and she catches his eye, giving a weak smile that doesn't reach her eyes. She is consoling him but the emptiness in that expression makes Lin wonder how much his friends must fear him now.

Laurens gives them an all-clear and Lin trembles with firmly folded arms as they enter the barn. Laurens instantly tends to Anthony's wound, delicately fixing the binding with meticulous fingers and a soothing aura. His voice is deep and he seems kind, almost shy, as he speaks with Anthony.

"You must rest well if you wish to remain healthy," Laurens murmurs in a gravelly voice. "If you start to notice any symptoms of fatigue and fever, let your companions know."

"Yeah, alright," Anthony replies feebly.

Laurens turns to Lin and wordlessly hands him a handkerchief. Lin stares at it, confused, but accepts it. He sees the blood on his fingers as he grabs the cloth; he had been actively ignoring it until now. He nods gratefully and wipes his hands, turning away with shame.

Pippa shivers, rubbing her arms tenderly. Laurens unclips his cloak and mutely holds it towards her and she smiles gratefully. "No, thank you," she says with a shake of her head.

Laurens frowns. "You are shivering, miss." Lin pockets the handkerchief with his eyes on the scene.

"I will be okay. This coat is much warmer than what I came here wearing," Pippa replies with a sheepish smile.

Laurens waves the cloak over his shoulders again with pinched lips and a cocked brow. "Aye, the uniforms you have stolen, correct?"

Everyone flushes and squirms in embarrassment. "Yeah, sorry we had to borrow these," Jon says with his lips pulled into a straight line.

Laurens sighs as he clips the cloak, his eyes flickering to Hamilton. And god, if Lin thought Hamilton was hopelessly devoted, the look on Laurens' face crushes that by a ton, somehow. The look in his eyes is laced with confusion and a strong, misplaced passion. Lin shuffles from one foot to the other, feeling like he can cut the tension between Hamilton and Laurens with a chainsaw.

"Hamilton, might we share a word?" Laurens asks nonchalantly, but the way his eyes flicker to Lin and the others, then pointedly to the barn door, implies he wishes to leave. Laurens clears his throat. "Privately?" He adds pointedly.

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