Slipping Into The Future

Chapter 17

The ballroom is immeasurably hot and crowded and Hamilton wishes very desperately to leave. It has been so long and lonesome these days. Three months apart — ninety-one days to be precise, and counting. Hamilton sighs into his wine glass, sipping it languidly as his eyelids flutter in disinterest. It tastes bitter.

He lowers the glass and puts on a faux smile for the guests swirling around him. Their dancing is dizzying to watch and he has no desire to do so himself. He was there to accompany him for the last ball Hamilton had attended.

Hamilton thinks of the south and longs to be there. He thinks of Washington denying his request to be stationed in South Carolina with him. He thinks about that long night with Laurens, the day he had arrived in Morristown.

"Hamilton, it has been too long. How do you fare?" Laurens asked with a gentle smile as he placed his free hand on the wooden railing, looking up at Hamilton from the base of the staircase.

Hamilton takes another sip of his wine, attempting to school his features. Officers cleaned up as nicely as they can be in these wretched conditions, dancing lightly with the very small assortment of ladies.

Laurens nodded slowly before looking over the railing at the servants walking by on the lower level. "Perhaps I may require your assistance with putting my belongings away," Laurens whispered as he adjusted the strap of his satchel over his shoulder.

Hamilton nodded, his mouth pinched. "Yes. You will be staying in here," Hamilton said as he glanced down the staircase before briskly entering the larger bed-chamber. He did not turn around when he heard the door latch click behind him. "The dressers have been emptied for the aides to use." He heard a thump; the satchel landing on the floor somewhere behind him. "You may claim whichever one you desire as you are the first to arrive besides myself..." Hamilton trailed off as he felt Laurens walk up behind him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He turned Hamilton around and pushed him into the dresser, swiftly capturing his lips. Hamilton melted in Laurens' kiss, slipping his hands up his firm arms and resting them on his stubbled jaw.

Hamilton frowns at his emptied glass and retreats from his corner to fetch another. He weaves his way through the crowd, narrowly avoiding people as he shuffles towards the prepared beverages resting on the bar.

"You are married..."

"Martha was a mistake..."

Hamilton trades his empty glass with a full one, immediately taking a sip as his dizzying mind threatens to puncture him with undesirable memories.

"I was young, drunk, and foolish to believe she could somehow cure me of my disease..."

Hamilton's eyes widened as he sharply stepped backward. "A disease? Is that all I am to you?"

Hamilton shuffles into another corner, smiling placidly at Tench Tilghman who breezes by with a grin. Hamilton's pleasant façade be slipping as he walks by, wishing desperately for fresh air and space away from the crowd.

"I will not be your second choice," Hamilton said sharply. "I have you and only you and you expected me to accept that you have a family — a perfect life — just waiting for you outside of the war?"