Eunoia

Selcouth ( Changlix)

" Seo Changbin and Lee Felix "

Changbin shudders looking back Felix . They're paired up for the project he'll have to get through this .

Felix simply smiles at him not knowing how much it hurts the boy inside .

Felix is nice despite being surrounded by obnoxious popular he's so so nice .

He hangs out with his cousin Chan's friends and they're all so good looking and so nice .

Then why , why did Changbin have to fall for Felix of all people . Changbin is loner , he wear dark clothes to appear intimidating but no one really pays attention to him in any way . The reason ? His outburts or more correctly his panic attacks . He's sensitive maybe a little too much and when it gets out of control he ends up thrashing and screaming. It's not a pretty scene and has everyone call him a freak except Felix , Felix hasn't seen his outburst which is why Changbin is afraid and also because of his hanahaki.

He knew one week ago right after Felix helped him up after someone pushed him down , he cried his heart out when he saw the petals he had coughed up .

Felix might be nice but he'd never love a loser like him . In other words he's dying and staying with Felix for a long amount of time would either end up in him having an outbreak or him dying of unrequited love .

He feels tears on his cheeks as Felix pulls up a chair .

" Woah what's wrong? " he asks putting his hand forth to wipe away Changbin's tears but Changbin panics pushing his band back .

" I'm so so sorry " he apologizes profously as Felix pouts teasingly .

" No worries " he tells the shorter ruffling his hair gently.

Changbin's heart skips a beat .

He's fucked . He's so fucked .

That weekend he arrives at Felix's place for the project he sees that his friends are here and that he's being chased by Jisung who is trying to kiss him .

His heart breaks he knows he stands no chance .

He rushes to bathroom feeling the urge to throw up and It's petals every fucking where .

He sighs crying silently, this is bad this is so bad . He doesn't notice Jisung opening the door in his despair.

" Holy fuck Changbin ! "

He whips his head back , quickly getting on his feet and clasping Jisung's mouth shut .

" Please be quiet "

Jisung nods and he let's go of his grip on him.

" You have Hanahaki ? "

Changbin nods , after all what can he say .

" It's Felix isn't it ? "

" Wha- what no "

" don't worry i understand "

" huh? "

" my feelings for Minho were one sided for almost two months "

" what ? You and Minho are a thing "

" haha ofcourse what did you think "

" you - you were trying to kiss Felix , so - so I thought "

" Oh , oh no no , that's completely platonic .

Changbin feels better and even sort of happy when Jisung gives him a hug . He can confide in someone now .

Felix and him end up finishing their project that weekend and he feels empty knowing that Felix might not interact with him in school now .

He walks to school in a bad mood the next day but some jerks decide on making it harder for him .

One of his bullies push him to the ground laughing at him obnoxiously.

" What a freak "

And he feels his cheek stings. He tears up rubbing his bruised cheek desperately.

" No one can love you "

He can feel a punch on his face but that sentence hits him harder . Everything turns blurry and he screams , he screams loud making the bullies walk away calling him a freak .

The words repeat itself over and over in mind . He grip on to his hair harshly to make it stop but his head throbs from the pain he's inflicting upon himself .

That's when he feels warm hands embrace him .

The arms pat either side of his shoulders in a rhythmic manner and his grip loosens .

" You're okay , its all okay "

Changbin sobs . Its Felix he knows his voice too well.

He turns to look at him and he's crying too .

" Why ? Why are you crying " Changbin asks wiping away his tears .

" You were - you were in so pain "

How can he not love this boy , the boy that has a heart of gold , the boy that is sitting here crying because of the loner that no one ever batted an eye towards .

Felix pulls him in a hug and Changbin enjoys his warmth.

Changbin coughs , his eyes furrow looking down expecting petals but there's nothing. There's nothing . He smiles gratefully and with newfound confidence ends up blurting out , " I love you Felix "

Felix pulls him closer , " I think I do too"