Eunoia

I thought I knew

Summary- Hyunjin is to blame , Hyunjin messed it all up , he doesn't deserve to see them anymore , he simply deserves to be alone but the boys miss him too much , they miss each other and their bond that has shattered , could things ever be fixed ?

Or where Hyunjin blames himself for Minho's accident but all Minho wants is his bestfriend back

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My interpretation of Mixtape : OH

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" Do you blame yourself? "

" Who else can I blame he was coming to see me , he was angry bcuz of me , the accident happened bcuz of me , I misunderstood things , I blamed him and I hurt him "

" Hyunjin no one would have guessed things would turn out this way , don't be so hard on yourself "

" What else can u say as my therapist "

" Is everyone here ? " Felix jumps into their club room side eyeing the cake he had made and hid behind the curtains .

" Umm we'll wait a bit more for Hyunjin ,Seungmin and Changbin "

" They won't fucking come ! Selfish bastards " Minho storms off after that , rage burning through his body .

Felix leans against the wall with lost hope , he wanted things to be fixed he missed them together.

The other do wait a bit but take off one by one as well its hopeless .

As Felix closes the door behind him there's nothing he regrets more than hyping up the idea of filming a movie back at that time .

Seungmin is strumming his guitar on the stairs, fixating his emotions in the music that comes out.

It's so melancholic even when Seungmin isn't trying to make it that way . His heart aches , he wants to see them again but he's afraid.

He wrote that script , he wrote a seemingly innocent script that ruined the friendship of two of his favorite people how can he meet their eyes again .

Chan is drowning in sad songs,  a part of him was sure everyone would show up today but he was dragged so harshly towards the truth his entire body was weak . He could see the anger as well as the hurt in Minho's eyes , the sadness in Felix's eyes , the pain in Jisung's eyes and the disappointment in jeongin's eyes . He didn't even know how rest of his boys felt but he knew they were all hurting . He was the eldest,  he was the one relied on the most , how could he fail at keeping them together , how did he simply watch it all burn down .

Seungmin,  he wants to go find him , ask him why he didn't come , break down infront of him and confess everything but his body doesn't allow him to move he simply sinks down on the couch crying .

Hyunjin is painting and his hands only lie on blue .

" Blue is such a sad color,  don't you paint with other colors? " he remembers another<br />
member of the art club ask him .

He wants to cry , he wants to scream but does he deserve that after all that he has done does he even deserve to be hurt .

He almost killed his bestfriend,  his confidant , his partner in crime . He almost killed him .

When he finishes his painting he climbs up the roof to sit alone and call himself terrible things bcuz that's what he deserves.

Jeongin walks into the store to grab a lollipop but as if by itself his hands land on the coffee, the coffee Hyunjin wanted to give Pei , the coffee that made him realise how jealous he was , the coffee that was Hyunjin's favorite.  He reaches out to take it but he feels another hand beside him he looks up to see its Felix except he's not there .