All Alone

How I Cope

( I'm starting right away and hopefully you like it. ⚠️TW- Language)

'You never really realize how lonely you are until it's the end of the day and you got a bunch of things to talk about and no one to talk to.'

That quote is from one of my favorite books from the library. I go there everyday to see what books I haven't read and mark the ones I have. I finished 3 rows of books. I guess that's what I'm supposed to do while alone.

It's been only one year since the war and everyone went missing. I always wonder why? Why didn't they take me or why didn't I die? I've never really had the chance to ask anyone that.

Me? Am I special in a way I don't understand or am I stupid and everyone went to a different country and forgot me? These question ramble through my head everyday and these thoughts are waiting for an answer I can't give them. I'm tired, tired of being on this world just waiting for death of old age. " Thanks god, I bet this wasn't your plan." I thought that to myself while eating.

I was born in Atlanta, Georgia, home of "Things To See", whatever that means. Since I moved away from home I was distant from my family and friends. Being all alone today, isn't different from any other day of my life. The life of Lula Ledman.

To cope with being alone every hour of everyday isn't easy. I imagine my family by my side while I eat my food or even drink a glass of water. I cry. Well duh everyone cries while sitting in a cold room not knowing if there's anybody else in the world. So, I just sit back and relax.

I now realize that that saying, " Just sit back and relax", is all complete bullshit.

Hey everyone I hoped you like the first chapter of Lula's coping skills. Better be excited for the next!!